Bad Mother

I am going crazy here, alone with Jayden. I am constantly losing my patience, screaming (sometimes at the top of my lungs), desperate for Jayden to stop whining or throwing temper tantrums. I think God knows this because he's been trying to help me along. I think I'm just plain tired. I long to go to work and I fear being home with him on the weekends. Isn't that awful? I am such a bad mother and even still God blessed me with a son. Little Jayden is so sweet. When I picked him up from daycare today, he was just precious. He didn't know that I was there and he was playing with an abacus. When he finally saw me, he froze for just a second. He threw the toy aside with such force, as if to say to heck with that. He came right over to me. I picked him up in my arms and just hugged him and smelled him and kissed him. Right before we left, he slowly bent his face to mine and kissed me on my lips. That makes it all worth it! That’s what I have to remember when I lose my patience with him.