Progress? Could it be?

Life has been so hectic since Maya joined us. I have often felt like I was running ragged trying to keep it together. Nursing was taking its toll on me. There were nights I thought for sure it was God who had rocked Maya to sleep. Figuring out what to do with Jayden to help him adjust to being a big brother was making my life impossible. I was having more temper tantrums than he was. Poor thing must have thought I was losing it. Time was flying by, but the situation was getting worse and to top it all off I was supposed to figure out how to manage my home and be a good wife too? End my misery please.

Well, time continued to march on until even I noticed that I wasn’t hearing myself complain as much. All of a sudden when Esteban called home to check in on us, I wasn’t bitter and angry that he’d left me one more time to do it all alone. All of a sudden, I wasn’t going on and on about how terribly Jayden was behaving. And yesterday, it hit me. Life with Jayden and Maya was getting easier. Could it be?

All of a sudden, I’m not screaming like a madwoman. I’m rarely spanking Jayden. I’m hardly needing to use time outs. Esteban calls to ask how I am doing and I respond fine. What’s Jayden doing? Playing. Where’s Maya? Sleeping. What’s this? All of a sudden, I am finding pockets of time to get things done around the house and even check emails. Heck, Esteban and I are finding time to be husband and wife. What’s happening? I’m not sure if it's because nursing is getting a bit easier or if it's because I'm including Jayden as much as I can in my nursing sessions. Maybe time-outs are working or maybe Jayden is getting used to having a fourth family member. It could just be the combination of time, practice and patience. Whatever it is, I am thankful.

Finally, I am working towards establishing a routine that works for our family. I thank God because I know he sent his angels to help me out. I needed that. The house feels more peaceful. I am getting more rest and Jayden appears to be happier. Maya is more calm now that the noise/activity level is down. And even Esteban is finding ways to spend more time with us and sometimes even coming up with family outings on his own. I feel like I’m on my way to being the mother I know I could become.