July 4th

I was so sick. I was so alone. I was so sad.

I made the effort to dress us all in red white and blue. But now that I think of it, I don't think I ever took the time to explain to Jayden or Maya why. Once we got dressed, I took the kids out for a ride in the wagon. I took Rio with me too. It was so hot and so humid, but I didn't want to short the kids. In the end, they decided they didn't want to finish our walk so we went back to the swings and hung out there. Here they are in the clubhouse, or crackhouse as Jayden calls it.
My new sunglasses...

Notice the bead of sweat on Maya's face...

Jayden - Peek-a-boo

Then Jayden decided he wanted to pack it up and move to the pavement, but the sun was beating down on us and I became aware of the fact that I didn't put sunscreen on the kids. But then I remembered that we removed the carpet from our screen room temporarily so I moved them in there and they had a field day. I had two fans going and I knew they were happy. Look how dirty my little chaulk monster is.

At the end of the night, we did baths and I started to put them to bad, but that awful guilt started to creep up inside of me as I heard the fireworks outside so I took them out to the screen room to see the lights. Not the best view, but I was worried about mosquitos. Guilt. I was gypping them. They could hear the booms, but couldn't see them. So we moved to the driveway and Jayden and Maya were beside themselves with joy. They were screaming and squealing and calling out their favorite colors.

Jayden remembered that last year, we went to my cousin's house because as soon as he saw the lights he said, "Mommy, I want to go to Cathy's house." Inside my heart I wanted to cry because Esteban wasn't with us. I wanted to cry because we were "celebrating" alone. But I smiled on the outside for Jayden and Maya's sake. Poor Maya was sad to come in and crossed her little arms over her chest, put her head down and started to pout. She looked so darn cute. I carried her off to bed. "Bye fireworks, bye firecrackers," they said as we went back inside. They must have been completely overwhelmed because they fell asleep in 5 minutes.