Night Time Fright!

It was long past bedtime, but I just can’t go to sleep knowing that Jayden is awake so I was in the office working on my latest hobby, couponing. Jayden heard me clicking away at the computer and flies out of his bed.

Jayden: Mommmmmy!

Mommy: Go to bed.

He doesn’t know that I’ve gotten up to peek in on him and I’m impressed. He’s actually going to bed as asked the first time. On the way to bed, he find his sandals and picks those up and takes them to bed with him. Great. Yet another thing I’ll have to remove later.
About 10 minutes later, I hear Jayden crying. I go running next door.

Mommy: What’s wrong?

Jayden: Ca-ca.

Mommy: Where’s the ca-ca.

Jayden gets up and comes over to the door and gives me a plastic thingy he’s holding so I take it and throw it away. He’s still upset though.

Jayden: Ca-ca.

Mommy: Jayden come here. (He comes over and I double check his diaper.) You are not ca-ca. Go to bed.

But he won’t go. He’s standing there with a weird look on his face. I climb over the baby gate and ask him where the ca-ca is. He’s been using ca-ca to describe anything undesirable. He looks to the dresser. I look and see nothing. He must have seen something. I get down on the floor and look under the dresser, but I see nothing except random toys.

Jayden: There is.

Mommy: Where?

I look and sure enough, there’s a large insect on the dresser. I quickly kill and discard said insect and then try to get him to get in bed. This turns out to be mission impossible. Almost every toy he owns is in his bed. And as if that were not enough, he’s got two pairs of shoes and socks in bed too. Lordy! Last night, it was the same. I went to tuck him and the light was on. His latest obsession is sleeping with the light & ceiling fan & the radio on. His bed was covered with toys and plushes and shoes and socks. There was barely any room for him to sleep. It took me a long time to take out all that stuff, including his entire collection of legos and musical instruments. What a little boy!

Today’s episode immediately took me back to the days were Jayden would cry and all I could tell was that he wasn’t hungry or in pain. Other than that, I would have to guess at what was wrong. It was so wonderful to be able to have him tell me in his own way that there was something in the room that had frightened him. I’m so happy his list of words is growing.

What Are The Kiddos Up To?

Maya had her 4 month check up today. My baby girl weighs 15 pounds and 1 ounce. I can’t believe she’s doubled her birth weight. Wow! She’s 25 ½ inches long and a wiggle worm. She is very active and moves around quite a bit. She got five vaccinations today. Ouch. She actually did so well. I gave her some Tylenol prior to the shots, but after she woke up from her afternoon nap, she was running a fever and super cranky. I gave her another dose of Tylenol and soothed her until she fell asleep and lay her in her swing. She’s teething and although I can’t see anything, I could swear I feel something in her little mouth. Even though she’s teething, she hasn’t made any attempts to chew on me while nursing, YET. Her nipple confusion is mostly gone, but there are times when she’s just not interested in nursing. She likes to watch TV and sometimes I find myself having to re-position myself so that she can still see so that she’ll stay latched on. If not, she’ll pop off every 30 seconds and turn towards the TV. Little Maya is already rolling over. When I put her on her belly for tummy time, she’ll roll right over onto her back. She’s so cute!

As for Jayden, potty training is on hold. We still talk about the potty and show him the potty and watch potty training videos but we’re not pressing the issue. I’m certain he’s ready because he always tells me when he has to go. And he wants to do EVERYTHING himself, without my help. I’ll give it another month and try again. Jayden wants more and more attention as the days go by, it seems. I find it harder and harder to get anything done. Now, if I try to sneak away to the kitchen or to the computer, he comes running to get me. “Sit, mommy!” he says as he pats the sofa. If that doesn’t work, he grabs his sippy and sits on my lap. He’s wasn’t feeling very well. He’s got a cough and a runny nose and is sneezing quite a bit. Unfortunately, this means it’s only a matter of time before I get it too. How awful. It’s so hard to take care of the kids on your own, especially when you’re not feeling well and they are feeling even worse.

What's Jayden Up To?

Staying home part time was one of the best things I could have done for me and for my family. I love being home with the kids and keeping house. I've even been doing a little bit of baking and I can't wait for the kids to be a little older so I can share kitchen & baking time with them. Here's a recent family shot.Being home more often has done wonders for my relationship with Jayden and I’m so happy for that. When Jayden wakes up in the morning, he comes running to our room and he used to ignore me and go straight to Daddy, but not anymore. Now, he smiles at me and comes over to my side of the bed. In the mornings when I get us ready for the babysitter, we always end up making some noise and Daddy wakes up to say good-bye but Jayden will have none of that. He makes sure to stick by my side so I won’t leave him behind. And when I do leave him home with Daddy, sometimes he follows me to the door and cries. I always spot his long sad face in the window, waving good-bye. It breaks my heart.

Jayden is growing and learning so much. He seems to be saying a new word every time I chat with him. It’s so great to be able to talk with him and to have him understand. It’s hard to keep it together when I tell Jayden to stop it and he responds with pop-it. He’s so darn cute. Jayden also mimics everything he sees us do. One day, I saw him take my slipper and hit the wall. I wondered why on earth he was doing it. Some time later, I grabbed a flip flop and squashed a bug on the wall. Eureka! Yesterday, we took a nap together and he even tucked his little hands under his chin, like mommy. It was so hard not to laugh.

We've had a potty chair in the bathroom for a while. About a week ago, he used it out of necessity and sheer luck. I’ve been trying to get him to use his potty ever since, but he boldly stated No! He would not use the potty and since that day he’s been true to his word. That doesn’t mean that Mommy has stopped hoping. When Jayden goes to bed and he’s desperate to get my attention, he says Mommy, ca-ca. Of course, I go get him and there’s usually nothing in his diaper. I then take him to the potty. He removes his pajama pants and diapers and sits down. A second later, he gets up and turns the ventilator on. A second after that, he closes the door. Yet another second after that, he gets tp. After about 5 minutes of this, I realize he is never going to go potty. He’s playing me. Back to bed he goes. Yesterday, I was trying to shower and he came to get me frantically calling out ca-ca, ca-ca. I fly out of the shower and take him to the potty only to find that he’s already gone. So much for taking a shower. He does love the Elmo Potty Time DVD. He watches it over and over again. Last night, I moved us all into my bedroom to settle down and signal that bedtime was nearing. He called out Elmo, Elmo, Elmo until I played the DVD. Now when he poops in his diaper, I always tell him he should tell mommy when he has to go poopy so he can use his potty like a big boy, like Elmo.

Here's my little man doing his favorite thing. Hanging out with the guys in the garage! He loves the ride on mower and most of his push toys are out there. Notice how red his cheeks are. He gets quite a work out when he goes outside. In fact, he came in with that black ring around his neck for the very first time. My baby is growing up!

Maya Turns Four Months Old!

Four Month Shot:

My baby girl has turned four months old. I don’t know where the time goes and I wonder how she’s gotten so big. The other day, I looked at her in her car seat and she was huge. How did that happen? Where have I been? I try to cling to every moment and yet time seems to slip right through my fingers. But I guess you can’t hold on to the moment forever so here we are. Four months old already. I’m so happy that I write about these special times so that when she’s Jayden’s age, I can go back and remember every last detail of her infancy.

To celebrate, I took Maya to get her ears pierced. Here she is crying hysterically after the deed was done.

Unfortunately, they did not get the holes right and I was mortified. I went back the next day and they attempted to fix the situation, but still got it wrong. I couldn’t blame the girl, because she was trying really hard and it’s difficult to come in and fix something that someone else loused up. I gave Maya a dose of Tylenol, just in case and pushed her around the store until she was sleeping. This made it easy to take a good look at Maya and mark the spot and finally on the second try, she got it pretty close. For getting her little ear poked three times, Maya was doing great. She flinched a little and barely cried.

And after all that, even now, I’m still worried about the holes not being even. It’s so hard to look at her and tell if they are or not because her cheeks are so chubby, you can barely see her ear lobes. Plus, her ear lobes are shaped a little differently. I tried so hard today to check and double check and triple check. I wish I would have had the sense to see that Maya was being fussy and call the whole thing off, but I was so anxious to have her ears pierced. I am tempted to take the earrings out and letting them heal and trying again in a few months, but I am going to wait until Maya’s four month check-up and see what Dr. Jill has to say.

The past month has been full of challenges and emotions. Maya has been struggling to nurse and suffering from nipple confusion. We’ve had our moments, but I’m still hanging in there and I’m happy to say that she is still nursing and my milk supply is still here. This weekend has been the best weekend yet, with very little struggle. Hurray! I have an order of bottles in and hope to receive them soon. They are supposed to help with nipple confusion because in order to get the milk out, she will have to use the same sucking action that she uses when she nurses. Let’s hope they help.

Maya is also showing signs of teething. She is drooling quite a bit and is moaning and gnawing at anything she can get her hands on. I broke out her teether and instinctively, she’s been grabbing it and trying to soothe herself with it. She’s doing a pretty good job of it. I tried to feel her gums and couldn’t find anything, but it could be another couple of months before one breaks through. We’ll see. Poor girl was really struggling tonight, but I rocked her and then I let her nurse even though she had already eaten and she was finally able to get to sleep.

Although she used to sleep at least 6 hours straight through the night, Maya stopped when I went back to work. I read that it sometimes happens when moms return to work. Maya seems to eat less in the daytime and nurses more in the evenings. With that said, she’s back to waking every three hours to nurse. Wow, this is so hard to do especially on days when I work. But I wouldn’t trade nursing for sleep. At least not yet!

Little Maya is very active and very vocal. She kicks around in her play yard and swings her arms at the toys hanging above. She can reach them and hold on to them.

I can see that she’s going to roll over soon. She already tries when I lay her on her belly. She loves Jayden and just stares at him and his shenanigans. She even shows interest in the TV. She is super alert and wants to see everything around her. She turns her head towards all sounds and boy does she spend a lot of time smiling. I’ve never seen anything like it. She’s always smiling or laughing. And boy does she squeal with delight! She’s always cooing about something. Nursing gets lonely at times ‘cause I have to shut off the TV or she’ll turn away from me to watch it. If I look at her, she pops off the nipple to smile or laugh. If Jayden is making a ruckus, she wants to see why. I say she’s just plain nosey!

Still Struggling, but Hanging in There

Today is day seven of Maya’s nipple confusion saga. Just to bring you up to date, Maya has started to show preference to the bottle and is giving me a very hard time when I am trying to nurse her. I am not ready to stop nursing and struggling to keep it going. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but I know that things will work themselves out. It’s just going to take some time. The second day was by far, the worst and so far we haven’t had a day that came close to it, thank goodness. I guess that can be considered a good sign.

I spoke with a lactation consultant and I have been doing all the right things out of instinct. I keep Maya moving from the left side to the right and vice versa. If that doesn’t work, I change positions. I have not broken down and given her a bottle at all. If she starts crying, I stop and calm her down and then try again. I guess the most important thing the consultant offered was hope. It can be done. She can learn to nurse and bottle feed. She also suggested taking Maya to a quiet room, maybe even a darker room to nurse and also swaddling Maya. These things have been working. Maya is super alert and is easily distracted. Whenever possible, I try to nurse her away from Jayden, TV off, curtains drawn etc. Maya has also been moving around quite a bit during nursing so the swaddling helps.

I have noticed that Maya nurses completely normal late in the evening and throughout the early morning hours. During the day, the struggles continue. The consultant urged me to pump after each nursing session to keep my milk up. If Maya is getting less milk out, it may signal the body to produce less milk. In doing so, I can see that Maya is getting out the majority of my milk, but leaves behind anywhere from ½ ounce to an ounce. Although I did have some struggles today, it was the easiest day so far and I hope it is a sign of relief. If you have any additional ideas, I’d love to hear them. Someone suggested I dip my nipples in sugar water. I haven’t tried that one yet!

A Major Milestone!

Jayden was down to just a few diapers. I told Esteban and he said he would go in the morning to pick up a box. Morning came and Esteban put Jayden’s final diaper on. I reminded him to go to the store to get diapers, but he was still tired and crawled back into bed. Not even 10 minutes later, Jayden came to me and said ca-ca. Oh-no. Please don’t go poop. I am completely out of diapers. I go back to the room to wake Esteban and he rushes off to Wal-Mart.

Jayden continued saying ca-ca. We went to the bathroom and I removed his diaper. I sat down on the toilet and told him to sit in his potty chair. He sat down but got up again saying ca-ca. I know, poor boy. He has to go and is probably mortified that he doesn’t have his diaper on. The phone rings and he rushes out of the bathroom. Oh no. I quickly finish up on the phone and go back to the bathroom with Jayden.

I sat down and he sat down. Guess what he said? Ca-ca! He was about to get up when all of a sudden, he does the deed and quickly resumes his position on the potty chair. I reassured him that it was ok. As soon as he was done, he shot up and looked at the potty and said ca-ca. I know, I know. It’s ok. Look. I take the inner potty and dump the contents in the toilet bowl. This makes him happy because he now gets to flush the toilet, which to him is one of life’s greatest pleasures.

I tell you I was thrilled. I was full of praises for Jayden. What a good boy! A big boy! Yeah Jayden! I whisked him away to his room for a clean-up and put his old diaper on in the meanwhile. I called Daddy to inform him of Jayden’s accomplishments. While I have been feeling like a failure in the nursing department, this was clearly a victory in potty training. Of course, Jayden went poop in diaper two times afterwards without telling me first, but that’s ok. I understand that this is the beginning in the long process of potty training. My little boy is growing up.

To Nurse or Bottle-Feed? That is the Question.

I successfully got Maya back to nursing and was quite pleased with myself, but I was anxious to see what I would find the following week. I was pleasantly surprised to find no problems at all on Wednesday. I was so excited. Maybe she gets it. Maybe she is beginning to learn the difference. Relief! Thursday and Friday came and went with no problems whatsoever. Fantastic! Maybe she was starting to get the hang of the differences. I’m so glad that was over. I wasn’t ready to stop nursing. I love that special time I have with her and even though sometimes I feel restricted by her nursing schedule, I am not ready to give it up and go to bottles.

Two days after her last bottle feeding on Sunday, she started to fight me again. At first it wasn’t too bad, but as the days went by, our nursing sessions started to get progressively worse. Yesterday was the worse day yet. In the morning, she gave me a hard time with her feeding day and cried for about 10 – 15 minutes. I did not give in. Instead, I switched her from left to right and vice versa and when that didn’t work, I tried to manually express in the hopes that it would entice her to latch on. Finally, she settled down and fell asleep. Then, at her evening feeding, she would not latch at all and screamed for 30 minutes. I felt so bad for her. She was probably wondering why there was no milk for her. Then I felt bad for Jayden who was just running around being his usual self and getting into a whole lot of trouble. Poor guy didn’t understand why Mommy was so mad. He looked afraid at one point so I stopped trying to nurse Maya and just carried her until she stopped crying and fell asleep.

I had some time to think while she was napping and clear my head. By the time she woke up, I was sure I wasn’t going to give in and give her a bottle. Instead, I mixed up some cereal and attempted to give it to her. At first, she just smiled and cooed. She spit out most of everything I put in but she was entertained and that was all that seemed to matter. (I should have gotten a picture of this. Shame on me.) Poor Jayden sat down right next to me waiting for his turn for a bite. He leaned his face forward, raised his eyebrows and slightly parted his lips. All I could do was laugh. Well, Maya got bored really fast and started to fuss, until finally she started to cry. At this point, I put Jayden down for the night and focused all my energy on relaxing and feeding Maya. Even though she fought it, she still nursed enough to satisfy herself and fell asleep. Thank you God.

I have so much more luck getting her to nurse when I’m not distracted by Jayden. It’s not his fault though. I get stressed out pretty quickly. It’s frustrating when I finally get Maya to latch on and Jayden squeals over a toy or something he’s seen on TV and Maya is startled, loses her latch and then it’s back to crying again. I called a lactation consultant and I’m waiting to hear back from her today. I am praying there’s something I can do to postpone the inevitable.