What's Jayden Up To?

Staying home part time was one of the best things I could have done for me and for my family. I love being home with the kids and keeping house. I've even been doing a little bit of baking and I can't wait for the kids to be a little older so I can share kitchen & baking time with them. Here's a recent family shot.Being home more often has done wonders for my relationship with Jayden and I’m so happy for that. When Jayden wakes up in the morning, he comes running to our room and he used to ignore me and go straight to Daddy, but not anymore. Now, he smiles at me and comes over to my side of the bed. In the mornings when I get us ready for the babysitter, we always end up making some noise and Daddy wakes up to say good-bye but Jayden will have none of that. He makes sure to stick by my side so I won’t leave him behind. And when I do leave him home with Daddy, sometimes he follows me to the door and cries. I always spot his long sad face in the window, waving good-bye. It breaks my heart.

Jayden is growing and learning so much. He seems to be saying a new word every time I chat with him. It’s so great to be able to talk with him and to have him understand. It’s hard to keep it together when I tell Jayden to stop it and he responds with pop-it. He’s so darn cute. Jayden also mimics everything he sees us do. One day, I saw him take my slipper and hit the wall. I wondered why on earth he was doing it. Some time later, I grabbed a flip flop and squashed a bug on the wall. Eureka! Yesterday, we took a nap together and he even tucked his little hands under his chin, like mommy. It was so hard not to laugh.

We've had a potty chair in the bathroom for a while. About a week ago, he used it out of necessity and sheer luck. I’ve been trying to get him to use his potty ever since, but he boldly stated No! He would not use the potty and since that day he’s been true to his word. That doesn’t mean that Mommy has stopped hoping. When Jayden goes to bed and he’s desperate to get my attention, he says Mommy, ca-ca. Of course, I go get him and there’s usually nothing in his diaper. I then take him to the potty. He removes his pajama pants and diapers and sits down. A second later, he gets up and turns the ventilator on. A second after that, he closes the door. Yet another second after that, he gets tp. After about 5 minutes of this, I realize he is never going to go potty. He’s playing me. Back to bed he goes. Yesterday, I was trying to shower and he came to get me frantically calling out ca-ca, ca-ca. I fly out of the shower and take him to the potty only to find that he’s already gone. So much for taking a shower. He does love the Elmo Potty Time DVD. He watches it over and over again. Last night, I moved us all into my bedroom to settle down and signal that bedtime was nearing. He called out Elmo, Elmo, Elmo until I played the DVD. Now when he poops in his diaper, I always tell him he should tell mommy when he has to go poopy so he can use his potty like a big boy, like Elmo.

Here's my little man doing his favorite thing. Hanging out with the guys in the garage! He loves the ride on mower and most of his push toys are out there. Notice how red his cheeks are. He gets quite a work out when he goes outside. In fact, he came in with that black ring around his neck for the very first time. My baby is growing up!

Maya Turns Four Months Old!

Four Month Shot:

My baby girl has turned four months old. I don’t know where the time goes and I wonder how she’s gotten so big. The other day, I looked at her in her car seat and she was huge. How did that happen? Where have I been? I try to cling to every moment and yet time seems to slip right through my fingers. But I guess you can’t hold on to the moment forever so here we are. Four months old already. I’m so happy that I write about these special times so that when she’s Jayden’s age, I can go back and remember every last detail of her infancy.

To celebrate, I took Maya to get her ears pierced. Here she is crying hysterically after the deed was done.

Unfortunately, they did not get the holes right and I was mortified. I went back the next day and they attempted to fix the situation, but still got it wrong. I couldn’t blame the girl, because she was trying really hard and it’s difficult to come in and fix something that someone else loused up. I gave Maya a dose of Tylenol, just in case and pushed her around the store until she was sleeping. This made it easy to take a good look at Maya and mark the spot and finally on the second try, she got it pretty close. For getting her little ear poked three times, Maya was doing great. She flinched a little and barely cried.

And after all that, even now, I’m still worried about the holes not being even. It’s so hard to look at her and tell if they are or not because her cheeks are so chubby, you can barely see her ear lobes. Plus, her ear lobes are shaped a little differently. I tried so hard today to check and double check and triple check. I wish I would have had the sense to see that Maya was being fussy and call the whole thing off, but I was so anxious to have her ears pierced. I am tempted to take the earrings out and letting them heal and trying again in a few months, but I am going to wait until Maya’s four month check-up and see what Dr. Jill has to say.

The past month has been full of challenges and emotions. Maya has been struggling to nurse and suffering from nipple confusion. We’ve had our moments, but I’m still hanging in there and I’m happy to say that she is still nursing and my milk supply is still here. This weekend has been the best weekend yet, with very little struggle. Hurray! I have an order of bottles in and hope to receive them soon. They are supposed to help with nipple confusion because in order to get the milk out, she will have to use the same sucking action that she uses when she nurses. Let’s hope they help.

Maya is also showing signs of teething. She is drooling quite a bit and is moaning and gnawing at anything she can get her hands on. I broke out her teether and instinctively, she’s been grabbing it and trying to soothe herself with it. She’s doing a pretty good job of it. I tried to feel her gums and couldn’t find anything, but it could be another couple of months before one breaks through. We’ll see. Poor girl was really struggling tonight, but I rocked her and then I let her nurse even though she had already eaten and she was finally able to get to sleep.

Although she used to sleep at least 6 hours straight through the night, Maya stopped when I went back to work. I read that it sometimes happens when moms return to work. Maya seems to eat less in the daytime and nurses more in the evenings. With that said, she’s back to waking every three hours to nurse. Wow, this is so hard to do especially on days when I work. But I wouldn’t trade nursing for sleep. At least not yet!

Little Maya is very active and very vocal. She kicks around in her play yard and swings her arms at the toys hanging above. She can reach them and hold on to them.

I can see that she’s going to roll over soon. She already tries when I lay her on her belly. She loves Jayden and just stares at him and his shenanigans. She even shows interest in the TV. She is super alert and wants to see everything around her. She turns her head towards all sounds and boy does she spend a lot of time smiling. I’ve never seen anything like it. She’s always smiling or laughing. And boy does she squeal with delight! She’s always cooing about something. Nursing gets lonely at times ‘cause I have to shut off the TV or she’ll turn away from me to watch it. If I look at her, she pops off the nipple to smile or laugh. If Jayden is making a ruckus, she wants to see why. I say she’s just plain nosey!

Still Struggling, but Hanging in There

Today is day seven of Maya’s nipple confusion saga. Just to bring you up to date, Maya has started to show preference to the bottle and is giving me a very hard time when I am trying to nurse her. I am not ready to stop nursing and struggling to keep it going. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but I know that things will work themselves out. It’s just going to take some time. The second day was by far, the worst and so far we haven’t had a day that came close to it, thank goodness. I guess that can be considered a good sign.

I spoke with a lactation consultant and I have been doing all the right things out of instinct. I keep Maya moving from the left side to the right and vice versa. If that doesn’t work, I change positions. I have not broken down and given her a bottle at all. If she starts crying, I stop and calm her down and then try again. I guess the most important thing the consultant offered was hope. It can be done. She can learn to nurse and bottle feed. She also suggested taking Maya to a quiet room, maybe even a darker room to nurse and also swaddling Maya. These things have been working. Maya is super alert and is easily distracted. Whenever possible, I try to nurse her away from Jayden, TV off, curtains drawn etc. Maya has also been moving around quite a bit during nursing so the swaddling helps.

I have noticed that Maya nurses completely normal late in the evening and throughout the early morning hours. During the day, the struggles continue. The consultant urged me to pump after each nursing session to keep my milk up. If Maya is getting less milk out, it may signal the body to produce less milk. In doing so, I can see that Maya is getting out the majority of my milk, but leaves behind anywhere from ½ ounce to an ounce. Although I did have some struggles today, it was the easiest day so far and I hope it is a sign of relief. If you have any additional ideas, I’d love to hear them. Someone suggested I dip my nipples in sugar water. I haven’t tried that one yet!

A Major Milestone!

Jayden was down to just a few diapers. I told Esteban and he said he would go in the morning to pick up a box. Morning came and Esteban put Jayden’s final diaper on. I reminded him to go to the store to get diapers, but he was still tired and crawled back into bed. Not even 10 minutes later, Jayden came to me and said ca-ca. Oh-no. Please don’t go poop. I am completely out of diapers. I go back to the room to wake Esteban and he rushes off to Wal-Mart.

Jayden continued saying ca-ca. We went to the bathroom and I removed his diaper. I sat down on the toilet and told him to sit in his potty chair. He sat down but got up again saying ca-ca. I know, poor boy. He has to go and is probably mortified that he doesn’t have his diaper on. The phone rings and he rushes out of the bathroom. Oh no. I quickly finish up on the phone and go back to the bathroom with Jayden.

I sat down and he sat down. Guess what he said? Ca-ca! He was about to get up when all of a sudden, he does the deed and quickly resumes his position on the potty chair. I reassured him that it was ok. As soon as he was done, he shot up and looked at the potty and said ca-ca. I know, I know. It’s ok. Look. I take the inner potty and dump the contents in the toilet bowl. This makes him happy because he now gets to flush the toilet, which to him is one of life’s greatest pleasures.

I tell you I was thrilled. I was full of praises for Jayden. What a good boy! A big boy! Yeah Jayden! I whisked him away to his room for a clean-up and put his old diaper on in the meanwhile. I called Daddy to inform him of Jayden’s accomplishments. While I have been feeling like a failure in the nursing department, this was clearly a victory in potty training. Of course, Jayden went poop in diaper two times afterwards without telling me first, but that’s ok. I understand that this is the beginning in the long process of potty training. My little boy is growing up.

To Nurse or Bottle-Feed? That is the Question.

I successfully got Maya back to nursing and was quite pleased with myself, but I was anxious to see what I would find the following week. I was pleasantly surprised to find no problems at all on Wednesday. I was so excited. Maybe she gets it. Maybe she is beginning to learn the difference. Relief! Thursday and Friday came and went with no problems whatsoever. Fantastic! Maybe she was starting to get the hang of the differences. I’m so glad that was over. I wasn’t ready to stop nursing. I love that special time I have with her and even though sometimes I feel restricted by her nursing schedule, I am not ready to give it up and go to bottles.

Two days after her last bottle feeding on Sunday, she started to fight me again. At first it wasn’t too bad, but as the days went by, our nursing sessions started to get progressively worse. Yesterday was the worse day yet. In the morning, she gave me a hard time with her feeding day and cried for about 10 – 15 minutes. I did not give in. Instead, I switched her from left to right and vice versa and when that didn’t work, I tried to manually express in the hopes that it would entice her to latch on. Finally, she settled down and fell asleep. Then, at her evening feeding, she would not latch at all and screamed for 30 minutes. I felt so bad for her. She was probably wondering why there was no milk for her. Then I felt bad for Jayden who was just running around being his usual self and getting into a whole lot of trouble. Poor guy didn’t understand why Mommy was so mad. He looked afraid at one point so I stopped trying to nurse Maya and just carried her until she stopped crying and fell asleep.

I had some time to think while she was napping and clear my head. By the time she woke up, I was sure I wasn’t going to give in and give her a bottle. Instead, I mixed up some cereal and attempted to give it to her. At first, she just smiled and cooed. She spit out most of everything I put in but she was entertained and that was all that seemed to matter. (I should have gotten a picture of this. Shame on me.) Poor Jayden sat down right next to me waiting for his turn for a bite. He leaned his face forward, raised his eyebrows and slightly parted his lips. All I could do was laugh. Well, Maya got bored really fast and started to fuss, until finally she started to cry. At this point, I put Jayden down for the night and focused all my energy on relaxing and feeding Maya. Even though she fought it, she still nursed enough to satisfy herself and fell asleep. Thank you God.

I have so much more luck getting her to nurse when I’m not distracted by Jayden. It’s not his fault though. I get stressed out pretty quickly. It’s frustrating when I finally get Maya to latch on and Jayden squeals over a toy or something he’s seen on TV and Maya is startled, loses her latch and then it’s back to crying again. I called a lactation consultant and I’m waiting to hear back from her today. I am praying there’s something I can do to postpone the inevitable.

The Two-Day Play Date

I just got back from my first road trip alone with the kids. My girlfriend, Beth, lives down in Coral Springs and she and I have been doing girls weekend for as long as I can remember. We have great meals, relax by the pool, and snack in front of the TV. How can I resist? I packed us up, which was no easy feat. When you travel with children, you end up taking everything you possibly can. Somehow, we squeezed in my suitcase, play pen, stroller, swing, bouncer seat, baby carrier, breast pump, baby bag, Jayden’s toy bag, my purse, nursing pillow and a cooler into my tiny Toyota Corolla. (Getting a mini-van is starting to sound like a good idea.)

I decided to wait until Esteban left for work to go so that he can spend time with the kids and the timing couldn’t have been better. I fed Maya and left right at the time I would normally put Jayden down for a nap. I didn’t have to stop once! It was great. Jayden slept for an hour, woke up for 30 minutes and slept for 45 more. He didn’t get fussy at all. And Maya slept the entire ride. She woke up as I exited the turnpike and started to cry just when I turned on to my girlfriend’s street.

We got there Sunday night and had a nice dinner at home. Jayden had a rough time falling asleep and although I originally brought the playpen for Maya, I decided to put him in it instead. He was a little tight in there, but at least he wasn’t wondering around the house fighting sleep like he usually does. At home, I use the baby gate to keep him in his room, but I didn’t have that. (Could I have squeezed that into my car too? Never mind.)

Monday, we had a nice lazy day by the pool. I don't know how it was possible, but I forgot my camera home, but here is a picture I managed to get with my phone.It felt so great not to rush from one place to the other to get things done. No keeping kids quiet so Daddy can get his rest. No making breakfast, no cleaning kitchen, no folding laundry, no picking up toys and food off the floor and no chasing after Rio to eat and do his business outside with the potential of being locked out of my home by my two year old son. I actually had time to drink three cups of coffee without stopping to reheat the cup 3 or 4 times. We went out for dinner and went home for TV and chit chat. It was so great to have someone entertain Jayden for a change. He loved spending time with Beth’s daughter, Sinclaire. They played in the pool, on the trampoline, on the swings, in her play kitchen, with cars and trucks and Barbie and Ken. Do kids ever get tired?

Tuesday, we went to the zoo. This was Jayden’s first time at the zoo. It was pretty hot out so I didn’t stay very long. We did walk around some and Jayden was entertained by the otters, monkeys, birds and ducks. He loved walking around on his own and so did I. I was able to move Maya from the baby carrier into the stroller. We packed a lunch and had it there and afterwards we headed to the entrance. They had a huge interactive water fountain and we let the kids run around and cool off. Jayden loved the fountain and wanted me to stay with him, but I couldn't with Maya so he didn't play very long. He didn't seem bothered by that. I think he was tired. It was close to nap time. I gave him a snack and fed Maya and hit the road.

The drive back was even better. No traffic or rain. Jayden slept even longer on the way home and Maya slept the entire way. She even stayed nice and calm while I unpacked the car and fixed Jayden’s dinner. It was so great to get away and relax. I loved spending time with my girlfriend and her daughter. The weather was awesome too. Even the kids seemed easier to handle while I was away. Nothing like recharging the batteries.

Nursing Challenges

This was my third week back to work and so far things have been going great. I have a decent routine down for pumping at work. I’m starting to get my 12 ounces consistently. And Maya seemed to have adjusted very well, until this week. On Wednesday, things went as usual. She had her three bottles at the sitters and came home where I nursed her. On Thursday however, she did not want to nurse. She wasn’t latching on even though she was hungry and I was ready to feed her. I noticed that she was trying to suck as if I were the bottle and she wasn’t getting any milk that way, which led to screaming baby! After struggling with her for an hour, I got her to finally fall asleep in the swing with her paci. At her next feeding, she was fine. I was so happy. I am not ready for her to stop nursing. I love this time together.

On Friday, I ran into the same challenge. Except this time, she wouldn’t nurse. I refused to give in. We struggled together for 6 feedings and finally on Saturday at noon, she nursed without fighting me on it. I am really panicking now. I am home with her for four days. Will I be going through this each week? Is she going to hold out longer and longer each time? There has to be a way to nurse and bottle-feed. Don’t people do it all the time? I want her to learn that when she feeds with her sitter or with daddy, she takes the bottle and when she is with me, she will feed from the breast. Is that even possible?