My Christmas Gift!

Every year, I dread Christmas because I will inevitable receive a present from my beloved husband that I’m going to have to return. Last year, I was afraid to open the present and when I did, I thought “Here we go again.” This year, I tried to have no expectations whatsoever, which is very hard, but guess what. He scored!

First he gave me a most beautiful card and then a second envelope. I thought it might be a gift card, but it turned out to be a gift certificate to my favorite nail spa for a manicure and pedicure. Excellent idea, darling. Then he said, “Hold on, I have to go get something.” He came back with a small box. I was curious what it could be and when he gave it to me, I knew it had to be cast iron. It was heavy and on my wish list. But the box was small so it couldn’t be the dutch oven I asked for. What could it be?

I opened the box and found that it was a beautiful, Food Network brand, red enamel, 2 qt. dutch oven. It even came with the wooden spoon!

It wasn’t the size I hoped for, but I had to forget that because my man finally got it right! I just hugged on him. And if that wasn’t enough, he excused himself to get something else. When he came back, he had an even bigger box and he said it was my bonus gift. I was smiling from ear to ear. In the box was a matching 5 qt. dutch oven. My Esteban did it! I was so thrilled.

In the end, Esteban wasn’t happy with the finish on the pots and we couldn't find any product reviews or ratings so we returned them. We then went on a wild goose chase looking for replacement pots. We picked up the Chefmate pots from Target, but they were clearanced and banged up quite a bit and when we got them home, the lids didn’t fit properly. Return #2! I looked at the Lodge pieces, but the lid didn’t fit as securely as I thought it would. Then I found out the Walmart in Haines City carried the Tramontina dutch oven, which was rated as best buy by Cooks Illustrated, and therefore sold out in most Walmart stores and out of stock online. So we went there and happily I found the 6.5 quart dutch oven. Unfortunately, there are no matching pieces available so Esteban wanted us to continue looking, but after all we had been through, I was holding on to my Tramontina. It only comes in this green color, but the finish is really beautiful and the color gradiates. It reminds me of avocados.

We spent several hours online searching for a matching piece and when that wasn’t possible, we searched for a complimentary piece. No luck. We were running out of affordable options and this being a piece I'll have for a lifetime, well I didn’t want to mess around and get something that I would regret. You know what they say. Buy cheap, buy twice! So then we found a Le Crueset outlet store and decide to go take a look around. Side note: the Tramontina is like the Corolla, but Le Crueset is the Rolls Royce. Huge investment for us so I’m not really getting my hopes up. But I’m open to going and taking a look.

After looking at the pieces and seeing their quality, we decide to make the investment. This was not an easy decision and since I never considered this option, I was not prepared to choose a color. After a couple of hours, I picked two small pieces in the red color. But I started to second guess. I felt rushed, the kids were carrying on and Esteban was hungry and I was trying to stall, but before you knew it the cashier was ringing us up. While we were getting a bite to eat, I quickly did an online search to verify the prices and they were not only cheaper than what was available online, but they were an extra 25% off. So that part was good, but I was back to the color. Red and blue seemed to be readily available by most brands. And I wanted something different. I was really liking the Dijon Yellow, so after lunch we went back but the Dijon was only available in second quality (which I didn’t mind one bit), but not in the sizes or styles I was looking for. I ended settling on the Orange Flame color. Beautiful. I picked the 3 1/2 quart braiser,

and the 3 1/2 quart oval dutch oven!

I start to look at the enameling and I start to see little flaws and imperfections. Now, I must say that each piece is hand made and it’s not unusual to find such flaws in the finish. They do not alter the quality of the pot. They are merely cosmetic flaws. But I am so damn picky that I’m there for what seems like an eternity. In the end, I’m thinking the red ones had better finishes but how could I possibly walk out of the store at this point with the same exact pots after being there for an hour, in the color I wasn't excited about to begin with? Esteban will kill me.

So I bought the orange ones, but I didn’t feel happy. I felt awful. I never felt so bad buying something I wanted so much. Esteban didn’t’ understand, but I’ve NEVER bought real pots before. I have 3 calderos (aluminum pots) in small, medium and large and a couple of those cheap frying pans you have to throw away every 3 or 4 years. That’s it! I never registered for pots and pans and I never bought a good set for myself. And I sure as hell never made such an investment before in my life so I was extremely stressed out. How ironic that it was El Dia De Los Reyes, or Three Kings Day.

Later that night, I told him I would go back by myself and return the pots. Getting such a fabulous gift should never feel that bad, right? But after some sleep and some thought, he said “You work so hard all year long and you deserve them. And the color you picked is really beautiful. I want you to keep them and I can’t for you to make me something in them.” So, I’m keeping them.

But I still want to go back and double check the finishes. For that price, they should be near perfect, just like me! LOL (That was a joke.) And I'm not getting rid of my Tramontina either. ha!

A Christmas to Remember

On Christmas Eve, I made the traditional pernil (roast pork) along with arroz con gandules (yellow rice with pigeon peas). I'd like to eventually get to the point where I'm making a grand feast, like for Thanksgiving, but I'm not there yet. Anyway, I messed up the timing for the pork and we ended up rushing through dinner in order to make it to church. I was hurrying the kids and they clearly didn't want to eat. It was awful! Under normal circumstances, I would have suggested eating dinner after the service, but Esteban had to work at 8pm (graveyard) so that wasn't an option.

Because of dinner, we were late by 25 minutes to the service. I hate that. The Christmas Eve service is usually so beautiful and I love the music. It's usually an outdoor candlelight service, so I was extremely disappointed when they didn't do the candles this year. And then, as if we weren't the last ones there, we had to be the first ones to leave since Esteban had to go to work. I came home and was so disappointed. This is nothing like what I'm used to when I was growing up in Jersey. I really needed an attitude adjustment at this point cause I was not happy. I went to my room to change and I put on my pretty pajamas. I call them this cause I always feel so dainty when I wear them. And Jayden walked in and said "Mommy, you look beautiful." That's all it took. Attitude adjustment - complete!

I came out to the living room and read to them from the books of Luke and Matthew and followed up the reading with the birth of Christ from the kid's animated children's bible. It might have been a bit heavy for Maya, but Jayden was into most of it and he kept asking where the little drummer boy was. LOL Afterwards, it was time for bed. I had a glass of wine while I waited for them to fall asleep. I didn't have to wait long for Maya. She was knocked out.

Jayden was another story. I had to tuck him in 6 times. Finally I threatened to put up the baby gate.

Afterwards, I went to work on embellishing the presents with bows and ribbons. Plus, I had two last minute arrivals to wrap and one gift to put together. Before you know it, it was close to midnight so I went back to my room and caught the Midnight Mass. I fell asleep at some point until Esteban came home around 5am. So I got up again and we started to load up the tree and put some stuff out in the play room.

When Jayden woke up, the first thing he noticed was the stocking on his door handle. He grabbed it and came running out to the screen room. Didn't even notice the tree. Maya came right after. He was thrilled with his workbench and tools and Maya was taken with the vanity set, but she was more into the stocking.

It took some convincing, but we finally got them to go out to see the tree and the first thing they spoted was the little tykes car.

It took some convincing, but finally Jayden realized that the car was for Maya and the motorcycle was for him.

After gifts, I jumped into the kitchen to make my Christmas Breakfast, which is stuffed french toast with chocolate chips, strawberries and bananas. After breakfast, Esteban went to bed. I don't blame him, after working an all-nighter. I had quite the disaster in the kitchen. After cleaning that up, I had this to look forward to. The scene of the crime...Jayden pulls up a chair and gets to work with his tools!

While I was cleaning up the kitchen and the living room, almost two hours by the way, Jayden and Maya were entertained outside, but I had quite the disaster waiting for me out there after a couple of hours on their own. After all that, I put them down for nap and went down myself. Now that was exhausting, but a wonderful Christmas morning, if I do say so myself.

Christmas Cookies

This was definately harder to pull off this year with two toddlers, but still fun and we ended up with yummy and creative looking cookies. Maya and Jayden took turns decorating and fighting over the cookie cutters.

I have no idea what they were cheering about, but it was obviously something worthwhile!

Now they are patiently waiting for their treats.

"Want more cookies please."

R. I. P. Jorge Maldonado

Yesterday, I got some terrible news. A dear childhood friend of mine was brutally murdered and I’m so sad. At first, all I could do was cry. I hurt for his hopes and dreams. I hurt for his family, especially his children. I hurt for the things I never got to say before his time ran out. I couldn’t sleep. I lay awake for hours thinking and shedding tears. Life is such a gift and his death was such a tragedy. So I will remember his life here. I will commemorate what he meant to me.

He was my childhood sweetheart. We met in grade school. I was on the safety patrol and his class exited the building on my side. I was 10 years old I think. I remember his smile, so wide, so genuine. We would meet in secret in the hallways. The vice principal caught us once and threatened to tell, but she never did. Once, we were a couple in a friend’s Sweet Sixteen. And my mom never knew. Secret Lovers. That was the song back then. We use to laugh about that. He was a graffiti artist and I remember we were issued these really old books and expected to use book wrappers to prolong their life. He used to make my book covers for me. He would decorate them and I felt so happy to carry my books around with his artwork. We were both short and when we graduated, it just so happened that we walked right next to one another in the procession. It was awesome!

We went to different high schools, but he always cut his final class so he could come to my school to see me home. Sometimes, we would secretly meet at the movie theatre or at friend’s house. Once, my dad caught us together and I was forbidden to see him. So, we started to write love letters back and forth. My friend Jessie would be the delivery person. At the same time, there was a song out called Love Letters, by Giggles. Jessie would bring me his notes and sing, Love, Love Letters, just like the song. At night, he would call my friend Judy and she would call me on the three-way so that he and I could talk without my parents suspecting.

He was so generous and had a kind heart. Once, he brought me a sheepskin coat with matching mittens. It was blue and I adored it, but I could never keep it because I didn’t know how I could possibly keep that from my parents so I gave him back the jacket and kept the gloves. He would always bring me gifts. Teddy bears and jewelry. Once when I was sick, he snuck into the hospital after my parents left, which was usually just before visiting hours were over, just to spend time with me. He had to hide from the nurses too, since he wasn’t supposed to be there after visiting hours. He brought me a silk rose then. I still remember. It was pink with a little light in the bulb. Something else I always remember is that he always looked good. He always matched and was clean and always smelled good. And he was a man of his word. He did what he said he was going to do and he kept his promises. And he was confident, in all he did. He always kept me going.

My parents were very strict with me. I was never allowed to do anything and he was strict with me too. If it wasn't my parents weren't watching, he was always watching, looking out. He wanted me to keep my nose clean and he was very jelous. It didn't matter what I did or who I spoke with, he always found out about it. Even when I went out with my parents, he was always watching. I remember he followed me around at a carnival once, keeping just a few feet away from my dad. I was so nervous. When I was old enough to work, he would come to visit me. And one night, he threw a pebble at my window and I didn’t know it was him. I got scared so I went and got my dad. He was furious.

Over time, we outgrew our puppy love, but we always remained friends. When I graduated, I think he had already dropped out of high school. I went to prom with a friend and to surprise me he had someone bring him in as a date. We danced all night. I still have the gloves I wore that night. He was such a great dancer. I used to love to watch him. And once before I moved to Florida, we went on a date. Well, it was the two of us and all his boys. I remember we went to Secaucus, which was further away from where we lived and when the movie let out, we went outside and discovered the car was stolen. I remember being scared, but I looked to him and he was so calm. I couldn't help but feel comforted. He reacted so well under the circumstances. Eventually, his brother came to pick us up. It was awful and I got home really late. Mom was so mad.

By now, I was in college, but he living a hard life for someone his age. I always felt that his life could have been different if he had a male role model in his life because he had such a good heart. He told me once he wanted to be a doctor. But instead he found himself in bad circles and soon after got locked up. I always wrote to him at the jail and visited him too. He always said he knew who his friends were. Lots of ‘em forgot all about him in there. And he found Christ in jail too, as many do. He had a strong faith and was always very encouraging. He worked out and believed in physical fitness. He always said we would work out together when he got out. But unfortunately, he was in jail so many times that he was eventually deported. And I kept in touch with him the whole time.

He was living in Peru and we were writing to each other. I encouraged him to find a nice girl and settle down, but he had his heart set on coming back. By this time, he had kids here, some of which he was raising even though he knew they were not technically his. I still have the necklaces that he beaded himself and sent to me while he was away. While in Peru, he did his time with the military and I remember how he much he loved his experience with parachuting. I was shocked, but he said he felt he could do it again and again. He did come back eventually, but by then I was living in Florida and his life was in NJ so we continued to stay in touch by phone. Then I met Esteban and once I started to make wedding arrangements, I told him all about Esteban and how I wanted them to meet. But he didn’t feel the same as I did. He said I was moving too fast and that he didn’t want me to come crying back to him later on, that my heart had been broken. And that was our last conversation. He never called again. It was the Summer of 2001.

The past couple of years, I had been thinking of him, and dreaming terrible dreams and I wanted to re-connect with him. I wanted him to know that I was ok. And I wanted to make sure he was ok too. I had a good man and I hoped that he had settled down as well. But it never happened. I never worked up the nerve to get my message out to him and now he’s gone. He was a good man with a solid heart and he devoted his life to raising his kids. He’ll miss his son’s graduation this year and countless other things. I came home and looked at Esteban and the kids and thanked God for them. Esteban was the right one for me and I thank God for what he and I have together. I’m thankful that its’ not me mourning my husband’s death. I always hoped that Jorge would have what I have with Esteban because he deserved it. He didn’t deserve to go the way he did. He didn’t deserve it. And so dear friend, please know that you were loved, you made a difference in many lives and you will be missed.

R. I. P.

Jorge Maldonado a.k.a. Hedrock

1972 – 2008

Making a Difference, One Staple at a Time!

I'll keep this as short as possible. I started a new job. There wasn't enough at my old place to keep me busy so I was sent on a temporary assignment to help out another department. The work is completely different than what I was used to and what I've done in the past. Its a sort of records department and in my head I imagined a big white room with tall filing cabinets that reached the ceiling and little manila folders with tabs on the end. Oh my God! What a nightmare. I'm so aweful at alphebetizing. I tried to keep an open mind and think about all that I would be learning. Maybe it would turn out to be fascinating work. Maybe I would learn about HR laws or pick up new transferrable skills.

Sadly, it's just as I imagined in my worst nightmare. Except the walls aren't white. I'm surrounded by thousands of folders in all colors, each meaning something different and thankfully they are not sorted alphabetically, but numerically so I spend countless hours sorting form after form so that I can spend more hours sifting through folders. And when that's done, I spend the rest of my hours removing staples, taping down loose corners or undoing creases that came as a result of spending years in a folder on a shelf. I've never had so much work and yet felt the time move so slowly in my life. I no longer have a desk, a computer or a phone. I had to start wearing a uniform of sorts because I was afraid to ruin my clothes.

I'm trying to be so brave. I wear a big smile and tackle all tasks assigned. But they worry. "I'm so happy you came back. I hope we didn't scare you away." They try to be encouraging and assure me that the work adds value. My trainer says "I know it feels like we're nitpicking, but it's so important to remove the staple ahead of time because when we're filing it goes so much faster." I don't answer. I simply smile and nod. Oh God, please help me. The people there are very nice and pleasant to be around. Plus, it's nice to wear sneakers to work and not have to pick out an outfit everyday, right? I'm only part time and it's just temporary, right?

Osbourne Family Spectacle of Lights

So, I LOVE the Osbourne Family Spectacle of Lights and I have missed seeing them the past couple of Christmas'. This year, we headed out and what a treat it is! The lights originally came from a family in Arkansas. They put up 3 million Christmas lights and the neighbors eventually sought legal action. So they gave the lights to Disney! Now there are millions and they are choreographed to music. There's snow falling and they offer 3-D glasses to make it even better.

It was super crowded and I was worried the kids wouldn't be able to see much, but they did and at one point I yelled out, "It's snowing!" and Jayden screamed back "I know Mommy." I could tell he was so excited. We skipped the 3-D glasses, but the lights are something to behold with or without glasses. As you can see, they were completely taken by the lights and music.

A Walk Around the Block

After dinner, Esteban and I bundles up the kids and loaded them into wagon. We got their milk cups and a big blanket and took them around the neighborhood to see all the lights. It was awesome! The kids loved it, even though it was pretty cold. At the end of the walk, we let them run around a little before coming in for bed time.