Where Did My Baby Go?

My sister was over for a visit and we were talking about our boys. She asked if when I looked at Jayden I saw a baby and I responded “No”, without batting an eye. She went on to say how she still thought about her 2 year old son as a baby and I drifted off into thought. When? When did the change happen? When did Jayden stop being the baby? Was it when he lost his curls? Was it when Maya was born? Was it when he started to use his words? Was it after his first big boy haircut? Or was it when his body started to catch up with his head in proportion?

I was on a mission. I started to go through pictures for one of those picture projects you say you are going to get around to and never actually do. I gathered my most favorite pictures of Jayden from just before his 2nd birthday to present day and I was shocked at what I saw. The pictures were in order of date taken and at the very beginning I saw him. There was my baby boy. But when did I lose sight of him? I started to scrutinize the pictures. One by one, over and over again. I couldn’t pin point the moment.

Sadly, what I came to realize was that it didn’t happen overnight. It happened slowly, over the course of time. The changes were subtle and if you weren’t paying attention, you missed it. The only sign left of babyhood is his baby talk. And even though it’s frustrating when he doesn’t use his words, I’m happy when he babbles on and on. Even though my baby boy is now a little boy, that’s what I’m holding on to because the time is passing by way too fast. Everyday he becomes less and less childlike.

Now, I ask Jayden if he’s my baby and he always laughs and says “BOY!”. I know he’s a big boy now, but he’ll always be my baby.