Cutie Pie

Jayden is my cutie pie. We had such a nice day yesterday. Do you think it was because he took a four hour nap? Ha-ha. Anyway, he LOVES being outside and I really wish we had a fence. Jayden loves to walk around and pick up sticks and leaves. He's such an adventurer. He has such a wild spirit. Lately, though he wants me to hold him while he's drinking his bottle. Awwww. I do miss that and love holding him of course. I cradle him in my arms and he drinks his bottle and we're both completely happy.

Party of Two?

I wonder how I will keep up with two kids when Jayden is enough to make me want to choke myself sometimes, but I really want him to experience what it's like having siblings. I wouldn't trade my childhood memories for anything in the world and I want him to know what it's like. Plus, sometimes I think, the more, the merrier. Jayden is going to be a great older brother and he's a helper. I think two kids will be awesome. Four would be even more awesome, but I would die. Ha-ha.

The Worries Begin

I know they usually don't do this, but I asked to have my HcG tested. I wanted some peace of mind. I wanted a small bit of assurance that all was going well with this pregnancy. The doctor's office agreed and ordered the testing. Now, I have more cause to worry. I had my HcG tested, but the numbers did not double like they were supposed to. They went from 7480 to 10,800 which is still good, I think, depending on the research I have done. I have an ultrasound in 2 weeks. Keep my little bean in your prayers.

BFP!

I was due for my period on Wednesday. I decided to talk to Esteban again about the possibility of a sibling for Jayden. Maybe we could start trying after I got my period. Esteban was in total agreement. I was thrilled. He said, let’s wait until you start your next menstrual cycle and we’ll try again, like we did with Jayden. So, the wait was on. The rest of the week passed without signs of my period. I was cramping, but nothing else. What’s going on? What’s taking so long. I don’t know why, but I felt anxious to get started. The weekend comes and goes and nothing. Did I mess up with my count? We were using the rhythm method. I know it’s not reliable, but it was working great so far.

Now it’s Monday morning and I’m several days late. The thought is in the back of my head. Could I be pregnant? Esteban and I had made love several times before my trip to NJ but I could have sworn that we had missed he window of opportunity because of the timing of my trip. While I was in NJ with Jayden, there were a few times that I felt a bit odd. I didn’t know what it was, but towards the end of my trip I would feel these small waves of nausea. It was crazy. It couldn’t be. I had a left over pregnancy test from when we were trying to conceive Jayden. Take the test. Get it over with. I got up and walked to the bathroom. I took the test. I sat on the toilet bowl afraid to even look at the test until the 3 minute mark. POSITIVE! OMG! Thrill, excitement, scared! What should I do? I can’t believe it. It’s positive! We’re having a baby. Jayden is going to be a big brother.

A Sibling for Jayden?

We had really hoped that Esteban’s kids would be able to come join us in Florida, but it didn’t work out that way. Our requests were denied so it will be a long time until green card requests are processed. I hoped the kids would join us and that Jayden would know what it was like to grow up with siblings. Now, that the plans have changed I asked Esteban, “Now that we know that the kids won’t be coming any time soon, don't you think we should give Jayden a sibling?” He wasn't for the idea, but he wasn't against it. I gently reminded him that we don't have the luxury of time. I'm 34 now and I don't want to go through a pregnancy after the age of 35. There are too many risks and tests and doctors prognosis’. He’s coming around. If we start trying now, Jayden would be 2 - 2 1/2 years old at the birth, which would be perfect.

Lots of Kids and Even More Cousins!

It would be nice to have more children. I've been thinking of that lately since my clock is ticking louder and louder. If we decide to have another, I hope for it to happen before I hit 36. I am 34 now. I told Esteban we have one more year to kick the idea around. I visited a girlfriend recently who said, “What's the point of having more? All brothers and sisters do is fight.” This may be true, but I think there is so much more you learn when there is more than one child. I fought with my sisters my whole life, but I love them to pieces and I love being with them and now I especially love that our children will grow up together. I think back to all of our adventures growing up with all of our cousins and I wish the same for my kids.

Jayden Is Not Himself. Please Believe Me!

Yesterday, I called Esteban to tell him I was on my way home. He starts bragging about how good Jayden has been. (What is he saying? Jayden only misbehaves with me? Or that I over exagerate?) Grrr.

As soon as I get home there he is looking crazy and Jayden is screaming his head off having one of his moments. And Esteban goes, "I don't know what happened. He woke up like that." Finally, he sees what I was talking about.

Then last night, Jayden had another bad night. He fell asleep with no problems, but then kept waking up screaming for no reason at all. Do you think Esteban accepts that Jayden is not behaving normally? No. Now, he tries to convince me that Jayden is sick because his nose is running. Of course, it can't be because everybody's nose runs when they are crying that loud.

Esteban just won't believe me and insists that he must be sick. He wants me to give Jayden Tylenol. Hello? For what? I didn't know Tylenol cures temper tantrums!