Another Sleepless Night

I didn’t have my afternoon nap yesterday. That sounds crazy right? With Jayden, I stopped feeling the need for morning naps right after the first trimester. This time around, I still feel completely wiped out so when Jayden goes down for his nap, Mommy goes down for hers too. I got tons of things done and I thought for sure that when I went to bed in the evening, I would fall asleep quickly, but that wasn’t the case. I ended up channel surfing until I was tired and eventually fell asleep.

When Esteban's alarm went off, he didn’t wake up, but I did. I was much too aware of the fact that he had to get up for work earlier than normal today and yet, there he lay sleeping soundly. Finally, I got up to wake him and then couldn’t fall asleep again. I lay here, sleepless for quite sometime. I decided to get up and write for fear that I might eventually fall asleep only to oversleep in the end. Today is a work day, after all.

I was not the only one who couldn’t sleep. The baby was up too doing all sorts of baby dances inside. She is so active compared to Jayden when he was in the womb. I have been feeling consistent daily movement since Thanksgiving weekend. I love all the jiggling inside. It’s like a constant reminder of how special a bond a mother and child have.

Lately, I’ve started a count down. At times, I feel so ready, like I’m about to bust. I have 9 weeks left. But just this week, I have become painfully aware of the fact that this will be the last time I feel a baby’s movement inside. When Jayden was born, I missed him so much inside of me. Even when I sat in the rocking chair next to his bassinet and watched him move about in his sleep, I would reminisce about what it was like to feel those movements from within. I missed him so much and I know I will miss Maya in the same way. Esteban and I decided two was our lucky number so, I only have 9 weeks left to enjoy this wonderful feeling. It’s funny how things change, when your perspective changes.

Tonight, my belly is so itchy too. I can’t stop the desire to scratch. Lotions don’t work, but lately I’ve discovered Calamine lotion and that has been wonderful. Today, I was admiring the growth of my belly. I seem to be carrying so differently than with Jayden. I noticed that I have new stretch marks. I can tell because they are pink. I had very few stretch marks with Jayden and those now blend in pretty well. It seems like my stomach is stretching in new directions to accommodate the baby. Instead of being perfectly round like a basketball, my belly is stretching out to the sides and looks a bit flatter. I guess that’s why people made comments such as, “Looks like you’re carrying like a girl”.

I wish I could forget my itchy belly and the fact that I have to get up in 30 minutes for work and just curl up in my bed. But that is not the case. I haven’t slept in my bed since Christmas week. I have been having some sharp pains that have become more and more consistent. I can only attribute them to poor circulation. I can barely get anything done with the constant reminder that it hurts. I had this pain with Jayden, but never to this extreme. Of course, the doctor says it is part of the pregnancy and there is nothing he or I can do about it. What a surprise. Because of it, I can’t lie on either side and since I have a tendency to twist and turn, I wake up crying out in pain. So Esteban got me a recliner and it put an end to the discomfort and most of my insomnia. As you can see though, I wasn’t completely cured because here I am. And since my alarm clock just went off, I guess I should sign off now and start getting ready for work.