Progress? Could it be?

Life has been so hectic since Maya joined us. I have often felt like I was running ragged trying to keep it together. Nursing was taking its toll on me. There were nights I thought for sure it was God who had rocked Maya to sleep. Figuring out what to do with Jayden to help him adjust to being a big brother was making my life impossible. I was having more temper tantrums than he was. Poor thing must have thought I was losing it. Time was flying by, but the situation was getting worse and to top it all off I was supposed to figure out how to manage my home and be a good wife too? End my misery please.

Well, time continued to march on until even I noticed that I wasn’t hearing myself complain as much. All of a sudden when Esteban called home to check in on us, I wasn’t bitter and angry that he’d left me one more time to do it all alone. All of a sudden, I wasn’t going on and on about how terribly Jayden was behaving. And yesterday, it hit me. Life with Jayden and Maya was getting easier. Could it be?

All of a sudden, I’m not screaming like a madwoman. I’m rarely spanking Jayden. I’m hardly needing to use time outs. Esteban calls to ask how I am doing and I respond fine. What’s Jayden doing? Playing. Where’s Maya? Sleeping. What’s this? All of a sudden, I am finding pockets of time to get things done around the house and even check emails. Heck, Esteban and I are finding time to be husband and wife. What’s happening? I’m not sure if it's because nursing is getting a bit easier or if it's because I'm including Jayden as much as I can in my nursing sessions. Maybe time-outs are working or maybe Jayden is getting used to having a fourth family member. It could just be the combination of time, practice and patience. Whatever it is, I am thankful.

Finally, I am working towards establishing a routine that works for our family. I thank God because I know he sent his angels to help me out. I needed that. The house feels more peaceful. I am getting more rest and Jayden appears to be happier. Maya is more calm now that the noise/activity level is down. And even Esteban is finding ways to spend more time with us and sometimes even coming up with family outings on his own. I feel like I’m on my way to being the mother I know I could become.

Jayden's Latest Words

At the age of two, Jayden has 21 words. Those are:

* Mama
* Dada or Daddy
* Ni-ni (Night-Night)
* Gracias
* Yes
* No
* Yeah!
* Ok.
* Bye-bye
* Uh-oh
* Ca-ca
* Hi
* Oh wow.
* Oh no.
* Ten-coo (thank you)
* Bess-u (bless you)
* Lub - u (love you)
* Titi (auntie in spanish)
* Baby
* Sowee (sorry)
* Hello

Jayden Turns Two!

Happy Birthday to Jayden! I can’t believe it. Where does the time go? Two years ago, I was blessed with this wonderful little boy that now keeps me on my toes and warms my heart. Today, he woke up at 7am. He came running to our room as usual and jumped in bed with Daddy. I was feeding Maya and Daddy sang Happy Birthday to Jayden. After a quick breakfast, we began to prepare for the big day. Maya was giving me a hard time with breastfeeding and I was starting to worry that I would never be able to put her down and prepare for the party. Finally, I got her to sleep and Jayden went with Daddy to get some last minute things. I pinned a Birthday Boy ribbon on his clothes and sent him on his way.

I began to work put together the food platters and get things in order. When Esteban came home, he gave Jayden his bath and put him to bed. Then he helped me with decorations. Before I knew it, we had everything put together and ready to go. Both Maya and Jayden were still sleeping so I showered and even got to take a 30 minute cat nap myself. The guests arrived around 3:30 and Jayden was still napping so we welcomed guests and invited them to help themselves in the kitchen while I got Jayden dressed and ready. He looked so cute in his birthday outfit. He was a little surprised to see this many people all at once, but he handled it well. He went straight for the gifts and began to open them. This was so much fun. All the kids wanted to help him and they carefully made sure that the cards were separated and that Jayden got to each and every gift. Daddy missed this part because he was picking up the cake. Sorry Dad.

When Esteban got back from the store, he got started on the grille and the time seemed to go by so quickly. Before I knew it, people were starting to leave. We decided to cut the cake before anyone else left. We got the kids organized around the table and Jayden wasn’t really sure what to make of it. It took some convincing to get him to stay in place, but because he kids were all there, he stayed put. When we sang happy birthday and he heard his name, I could tell that he was happy and excited for all the attention he was getting. He was glowing and his eyes were shining. Of course, he couldn’t blow out the candles. I told him, sopla (Spanish for blow). Unfortunately, this is also the word I use when I’m trying to get him to blow his nose so he was confused. Finally, all the kids helped him get the candles blown out and we cut the cake. From there, we moved to the front lawn for the piñata!

Last year, I made a piñata for Jayden when he turned one. We didn’t have a party for him, but it was a lot of work so I saved the piñata. It was round in shape and in the form of Mickey Mouse’s head. I loaded it with candy and party favors. (Overloaded it was more like it.) We tied it to the tree out front and since the kids were so young, we didn’t blindfold them. We let Jayden take the first swing and he knocked the piñata right onto the lawn. We couldn’t figure out how to re-hang it so the kids took turns beating it with the stick. Of course, Jayden was hysterical because he wanted to be the only one to hit it. But they finally got it open and dived into the collection of goodies. They were so cute. I ran in for the goody bags and handed them out so they could put their candies in it.

After the party, we began to clean up and talk about how well the party went and how happy we were. Most of the food we put out was gone and I was happy not to have to worry about how to fit leftovers into the fridge. Having the toys out in the living room worked well. The kids played with them, plus all the birthday presents and I had a Baby Einstein DVD playing in the background for the younger tots. Even the older kids made their way into the living room to see and play with the toys. The cutting of the cake was fun and of course, ending he party with the piñata was a blast. I was happy we had decided to keep things simple. I can’t wait to plan the next one.

Blueberry Picking

I received an invite for a play date to visit Marc’s U-Pick Blueberries. I didn’t even know we could do this around here so I was thrilled to respond yes. My timing was off in the morning and I was behind schedule with breastfeeding. I was trying to hurry and sneak out of the door without waking Esteban so he could sleep in. I got Maya fed and dressed. Then I freshened up and grabbed my clothes. By now, Jayden was awake so I grabbed him, dressed him, brushed his teeth and got his milk. I then went to double check directions and sneaky Jayden woke up Daddy. Rats! Oh well, I explained what I was doing and by now I was late, plus the location was further than I thought. But Esteban got up and decided he wanted to join us so we quickly loaded up the family in the car and hit the road.

The fields were a lot closer than I thought. The first field was closed but the second was still open when we arrived. It was too late to meet up with the playgroup, but at least we made it. It was so much fun. That was my first time ever doing any such thing. We walked up and down the aisles of trees and looked for ripe berries. They were so sweet and delicious. We gave some to Jayden and before you knew it, he was hoarding the berries. He started to pick himself. He didn’t care if they weren’t ripe yet. He would still grab at them and pluck them into his mouth. I could barely get any into my basket because he was screaming out loud for more. Jayden had his mouth full and both his fists were full, but he was still screaming when daddy put the berries into my basket instead of into his mouth.

There were lots of families there and I could hear the kids squealing with delight. Oh, I found a cluster. Look, I found a blue one. One family was teaching their young daughter to count. 1...2...3... Jayden was the only child whining and carrying on. We decided to make our way back, stopping only a few times whenever we found perfect berries. Jayden carried on the entire time. Really, I had to smile. I thought Jayden would enjoy the fields. There were tons of trees, small branches and pine cones. Right up his alley, right? We were all together and Jayden had free roam of the place. Plus, he had every blueberry h could possibly eat. How wrong I was! I realized right then and there that Jayden will always have an unexpected reaction and I decided right then and there. That’s ok with me. I wonder if he’ll like the blueberry pie I’m planning on making.

Jayden's Progress

Jayden is learning and growing in so many ways. He’s got all sorts of tricks up his sleeve. Jayden has learned how to climb. Now he is using this skill to get things done around the house. He climbs onto his highchair so he can reach the light switch. He climbs onto the chairs so he can get up onto the table. He used his bed rail to climb onto the dresser so we rearranged the furniture. Now, he uses his bed rail as a stepping stone to climb into the crib. He also uses his activity cube to climb over the baby gate. There’s no way to turn your back on him even once because you never know what he could be up to.

Fortunately, when he is alone with me he behaves like a normal two year old. He plays and keeps busy and entertains himself for what seems like hours, without ever getting tired. He still acts up, but listens fairly well when I address him. Daddy is helping by starting to get a bit stricter with him. Jayden knows that it’s not party time anymore when Daddy’s around. It used to be that Jayden would act all sorts of crazy when he was home with both Mommy and Daddy, but I’ve even noticed that Jayden’s behavior has improved when we are both home together. It’s when I’m busy that he looks for ways to get my attention and it’s usually with something that he shouldn’t be doing. Mostly, it’s when I nurse Maya that he turns to mischief. He does anything possible to get my attention. He’s even started to make these puppy dog faces that get me every single time. I can’t help but to literally crack up. He makes this sad face and drops his head so that his chin touches his chest, but rolls his eyes up to see if his look is working on me.

One thing I’ve done is to try to get Jayden back to his normal routine. Afternoon nap was first. Luckily it didn’t take long before he was back to his normal schedule. Night-night time was a little tougher. My sister helped me a lot with this. We would put Jayden down and read to him and tuck him in. It took many nights of going back to his room and saying night-night and re-tucking him in, but it worked. Now he’s back to his normal sleep schedule. He has started to wake up earlier than normal, but I think it’s because he knows that Daddy is home, but lately he’s back to sleeping until at least 7am. Esteban will change his diaper and get him his bottle and he lies in bed with us for at least one more hour. Lastly, we started to take Jayden back to daycare once a week. Jayden literally ran into Jena's arms. I know he was happy and it's an added bonus to me. I get one day of alone time with Maya and I’m free to take care of so many things that I never get to do anymore. On my first FREE day, I made a ton of calls, ran errands, organized and cleaned the house, etc. I made such a long list of things to do that I didn’t even get to rest or take care of ¼ of the things on my list. But I was happy. I was getting things accomplished.

One of the things I did on FREE day was to get my nails done. I was chatting with Nick, my nail tech. He’s got two kids of his own and I shared with him my woes with Jayden. He suggested taking something away from Jayden. At first I thought it wouldn’t work because Jayden isn’t attached to anything, except his Daddy which I would never dream of taking away. We started to remember our own childhood and having to kneel. He had to kneel on chopsticks. My parents always made me kneel on the floor, but I remember having cousins who had to kneel on dried beans or rice. I decided to combine the two ideas together. I talked to Jayden’s pediatrician, Dr. Jill about Jayden’s behavior. She said that Jayden’s age combined with the fact that he’s not the only child anymore is what’s causing his behavior to get so out of hand. I also asked about combining a time out with standing in the corner (instead of kneeling). She gave me her blessing so I started those this week.

At first he didn’t know what to make of it. He was crying hysterically and turning his head to try to find me, but I calmly moved his head back to the corner and kept him there for two minutes. Now he stands in the corner. Sometimes he cries. At the end of time out, I turn him to face me and ask him to listen to mommy. No means no. If Jayden doesn’t listen, he will get another time out. I then kiss him and he goes off to do his thing. Now, when I ask him if he wants a time out, he understands what I mean. It gets his attention and he remains serious and I re-direct him to another activity. This works most of the time. I’m happy to find something that helps me discipline him without me losing my sanity or my patience.

One Month Later...

Maya just turned one month old. The time goes by so quickly. Our new life has been difficult to get used to. It’s so hard managing the balancing act between Jayden and Maya when I’m by myself. It’s even hard when my husband is home and believe me; he helps. Jayden takes every bit of energy and patience we‘ve got. He wakes up very early and comes running to get daddy. Esteban is tired because he just got off the late shift and I’m tired from getting up to breast feed and pump. As soon as Esteban wakes, there’s so much to do. He’s still doing the majority of the chores. And Jayden doesn’t seem to care less when we say no or stop. It’s like he does whatever he feels like. Esteban and I end up nit-picking each other about all the mistakes we are making raising Jayden and it’s just not fair to us or to Jayden. We have some work to do in that department.

Here was Maya Isabella at 3 weeks old:

One thing I know for sure though is how much Jayden loves his new sister. Jayden must kiss her about a hundred times a day. He’s quite taken with her. He likes to stay close when I’m nursing her and tries to help the swing along when she’s in it. He tries to climb on the bed when she’s on it and if she cries while she’s in her bassinet, Jayden will come and get on his tippy toes to peek in. If Maya is in the crib, he climbs up on the rails so that he can take a peek and when I’m getting ready to breastfeed, he comes over to try to “latch on” first. What a hoot! This morning, I was taking a shower and Maya was crying. Jayden came running to the bathroom door and called Mama! Such a little terror, but so sweet.

Here's Maya at one month:

On Maya’s one month birthday, we went to EPCOT. I’m not sure if that was the best idea to take such a small baby to a major theme park, but it was my family’s last day together and my mom’s first time at a Disney park and it was worth it to see the look on her face. As an added bonus, the Flower and Garden Festival was going on, which is one of my favorite events at EPCOT besides the Food and Wine Festival. My mom had her picture taken with the characters and was getting their autographs. It was so great to see her. This was our first time to a park in about three to four years and we didn’t do too many rides, but we did take the kids on the boat ride at the Mexico pavilion. We also took the ferry around the World Showcase and saw the 360° film at Canada. We didn’t stay for dinner or the fireworks since it was too late, too hot and we were too tired, but my family did and they really enjoyed it.

Here's my mom with Snow White:

Now, my family is all gone and we are not expecting anyone else anytime soon. Here's Grandma and Jayden with his fancy new haircut: Here's our last picture together: I am hoping that we can get to some sort of normalcy and that we can get some bit of control over things. Heck, I’d be happy if we could get Jayden to acknowledge that we’ve just spoken. All I end up doing is raising my voice and losing my patience and Esteban is tired of trying to correct Jayden and at times just gives up. It’s hard to remember that he’s a two year old and still just a toddler. When I try not to spend so much time losing my patience, I really believe it makes a difference. I try to keep in mind that Jayden doesn’t have very many words and that perhaps he gets frustrated with us, just as we get frustrated with him. Others think we are making excuses. I just pray we can get through the terrible two’s.

New Baby Girl & Adjusting Little Boy

Having a little girl is a lot different for me than having a boy. There are so many different things to enjoy. First of all, I’m having lots of fun dressing Maya. Half of my fun is picking out her outfits in the morning and her pajamas at night. I also enjoy her bath times as much I did Jayden’s but even more so since I get to massage her and lotion her up. I really had a lot of fun picking out a great variety of pretty smelling lotions. I didn’t do that as much with Jayden, him being a boy and all. Nowadays, I’m finding that Jayden loves lotion more than I ever imagined. And sometimes, when I have a hard time getting him to take a nap, I use lotion to massage him and it helps soothe and relax him.

Maya is growing nicely and her jaundice is almost all gone. This makes me really happy because I know she’s getting all she needs from my milk to grow and get better. I didn’t get a chance to nurse Jayden so I’m grateful to have this opportunity with Maya. I share tons of great moments with her through breastfeeding. There were times in the beginning where I thought I would give up but I’m so happy I didn’t. It’s a special time for us. Today she was dressed in a set of pink long johns that were just too cute. She latched on with her eyes still closed. She grabbed onto my breast with both hands and was actually gulping the milk down. Then she curled her little body so she could get on her side and somehow get closer to me. Her little leg was stretched out and pointed straight out. She makes the best little faces when she nurses. She’s just precious.

Even though it gets challenging at times, breastfeeding is such a neat experience. My most trying time is in the evening when it seems that Maya is latched on for what seems like hours. Then I feel like all I’m doing is bouncing back and forth between Jayden and Maya and when I get one settled the other starts up. Thankfully, tomorrow I’ll be getting my hands on a breast pump. Maya tends to feed less throughout the night so I can pump and use my milk between 7 - 10 pm when Maya most wants to eat. This will help to free me up to put Jayden down for the night without feeling like I’m losing my mind. That’s what I’m hoping for anyway.

For the past couple of days, we have been company free so I’ve been able to get a pretty good idea of what things will be like when I’m on my own. Thankfully, Jayden is easier to manage when we are by ourselves. He’s still a two year old, but at least it doesn’t feel like a losing battle. He really seems to love Maya and takes any opportunity to kiss her. He also likes to lay next to her to have his drink. He’s completely intrigued by breastfeeding and watches intently. Today, he “helped” me remove my bra and grabbed my nipple. I did not stop him as I’m curious myself to see what he’s going to do, but all he did was give me a couple of quick pecks, smile at his daddy and move on. I am having lots of fun with Maya and Jayden and no doubt life is harder with two kids, but I wouldn’t go back.

I feel bad for Jayden because he’s having a rough time adjusting to his new schedule, new sister and to constantly having company. For a while, I felt like he was getting more and more out of control as the days went by. I felt like the only conversations I was having with him were heated and consisted of “No Jayden!” or “Stop Jayden!” He just kept finding more and more ways to get into trouble, which is even worse now since he learned how to climb and that opened up a whole new world of trouble and danger. He’s so much better when I’m not constantly yelling and screaming at him or threatening him with my slipper. I’ll be happy when I can focus more time on him. I can’t wait to spend some quality time with my little boy.