Father's Day

Today, we let Esteban stay in bed and when he got up, we got ready for church. They showed the best little video from a son's perspective and it was so heartwarming. It was all about how the son was looking at daddy always, even if daddy didn't notice. There was one clip of daddy cutting the grass and the little boy followed along with his Fisher Price Bubble Mower and it was just too cute. I immediately thought of Jayden whom I've seen do this countless times. I couldn't help but cry. Afterwards, they did a slide show presentation featuring dads and their kids. We just had to stay for it so we could see Esteban's picture with Jayden and Maya, which they had taken a couple of weeks back. Adorable.

Afterwards, we had lunch at a San Jose's Mexican Restaurant. Kids eat free on Sunday. I was surprised, but happy. The kids were a little out of hand though, as if they had never eaten out before so we didn't hang out too long. I made a quick run to Publix to pick up some last minute things for dinner and as soon as I got home, I jumped into the kitchen.

I had a plan. It was called Beer Can Chicken and Peach Cobbler for dessert. First I made the rub, which I got from the Neely's on Food Network. Awesome! After the chicken was rubbed down, I worked on the filling for the peach cobbler. There was alot of sugar in that thing, but I love peach cobbler and it looked so good on the show, I went ahead. Then I put the bird into the oven and when it was almost done, I worked on the crust. Chicken out and cobbler in. Unfortunately, we ran out of time for dessert since Esteban had to leave for work at 7pm, but dinner was fabulous. I should have taken a picture of the chicken after it was done. It was gorgeous and delicious. The cobbler wasn't what I'd hoped for, but I'm beginning to think that like scones, I'll never find a recipe that gives me a product just as good as the first one I ever tried!

So, What Have You Been Doing Since Your Layoff?

Well, it’s been a very busy time. Since my layoff, I have been throwing myself into all kinds of projects with the kids and around the house. I’m throwing myself into my cooking and baking. I try to keep the kids active. Esteban always has a project or two for me. And in the very little alone time I have, I try to find ways to stay productive and contribute to the household. Lastly, every once in a while I see a job that might have potential, but I find myself not having time for a real job hunt.

Cooking has always been a great distraction for me, but for a while there, I fell out of my groove in the kitchen. I enjoy my Everyday Food subscription (or is it Food Everyday). And I get a lot of inspiration for my meals from Paula, Ina, Giada, Rachel and most recently Sunny and the Neely’s. Being home everyday, it gets so tiring trying to decide what to make for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I try to keep it interesting for the family. So, I’m back to experimenting with recipes, which I’ve always enjoyed. Although for a while, I was in a recipe slump, finally I came across a winner last night, peanut butter banana bread with walnuts and chocolate chips! OMG!

Then I try to keep the kids busy. I don’t want the days to seem monotonous to them. The kids don’t go to day care so it’s important for me to make sure they get plenty of social time. My sister is so busy with her restaurant, but as time permits we hang out with her and my nephews. We make play dates with our friends and we like to visit the library. Now that it’s hot, we’re fortunate when we get to participate in water activities. We don’t have a pool, so I jump at the chance to cool off. And luckily, we’ve been to the beach three times so far this year. Jayden is so ready for school and I’m ready for him to go to school too. He was accepted into the Head Start program. We feel very blessed.

Unfortunately, since Esteban’s mother died, it’s been a turbulent year for us all. When his kids suffer, he suffers and I suffer as a consequence. That’s what happens when a family loves each other. I try to be a good wife to him, help him and encourage him. But sometimes I don’t do as well as I hoped. He’s been wanting my help for months in getting a cell phone upgrade. Poor guy has been using the same phone for the past 5 years. Finally, we made it happen. I’m so happy and relieved. Now, I’m trying to find plane tickets for him to back to Honduras, since he’s going to have to rush back. When I’m not doing that, I’m working on filling out the latest slew of immigration forms, the visa packet. It’s all very overwhelming and emotional.

In order to have some me time, I’m staying up really late at night to get things done. My distractions are blogs, facebook, and Twitter. I’ve also been a couponer for about 2 years now so I devote a lot of time to reading up on deals, cutting out coupons and keeping my coupon book up to date. Coupon time is when I usually listen to the audio books I get from the library. It’s good to get away from my own life for a little while and escape into books. I also love movies so this is when I watch my Netflix movies. But what I spend the majority of my time on is looking for ways to earn an income from home and I have been pursuing surveys, focus groups, and mystery shopping.

So far, I have found that this is by no means going to make me rich, but atleast I keep money coming into my paypal and I feel like I am in some way working. The mystery shops are especially enjoyable for me since I get to go out, usually on my own for a little while. Every once in a blue moon, I see a job that I find interesting or that I think might work into our schedule, but I haven’t had much luck in actually getting an interview. To be fair, I’ve applied for four jobs since my layoff and had one interview. Oh well. And that, in all honesty is how I spend my days since losing my job two and a half months ago.

Reuniting a Family

In addition to Jayden and Maya, Esteban has three other children from a previous relationship. They lived for most of their life with Esteban’s mother. Because we were so naive about the immigration process, we lost some time at the beginning. Once we started to learn about it, we were so overwhelmed that we decided to wait until we were done with Esteban first. Once he had officially received his green card, we tried to apply for the kid’s travel visas. We paid the fees. Esteban traveled to Honduras, got the kid’s birth mother on board and they presented themselves at the interview, but our requests were denied. It was a huge loss for us, after paying the fees and all the associated costs of the trip.

Next we went back to the local immigration to inform ourselves of the procedure and decided begin the next step, which was to apply to bring the children here permanently. We were going to try to do it on our own without legal assistance and it was rough. The applications were long and complex. There were many times when I questioned what I was doing, but Esteban always encouraged me. At the time of our marriage, Esteban’s kids were 9, 6, and 4. They were very young and all they’ve ever known is that they want to be with their daddy. All we’ve been able to say is that it’s in the works and one day soon we’ll be together. That has to be tough on a child, to always wait for something that seems like will never happen. One day, they might want to know why it took so long and I thought this might help. Here is an account of the proceedings.

January 22, 2007: We sent in the I130 (immigrant petition for relative). At that time, these were $190 each. Transaction cost: $9.81 Total spent: $579.81

January 26, 2007: We received the I797, which is like a receipt. It confirmed that they received the petitions and the fee.

May 7, 2007: We received the I797E, requesting evidence. They wanted copies of the children’s birth certificates and notarized translation copies.

June 16, 2007: We sent in the copies and translations. Transaction cost: $23.88 Total spent: $603.69

July 3, 2007: We received the I797, Approval Notice. We were thrilled.

August 6, 2007: We received the I864 processing fee bill for $70 each. We also received the Choice of Address and Agent form.

August 22, 2007: We sent in the fees. Transaction cost: $214.65 Total spent: $818.34

September 3, 2007: We received notification to fill out the I864, Affidavit of Support. This was by far the most overwhelming application for me. I postponed the project many times and I considered giving up many times. This was my contract and promise to the children that I would be their sponsor. It was emotionally overwhelming. The directions alone were 11 pages long. The application was also 11 pages long.

December 6, 2007: We sent in the Choice of Address and Agent form. This took a while because we were under the impression that they should be signed by the children personally. We later found out that because they were minor children, Esteban could sign the form on their behalf. Transaction cost: $4.80 Total spent: $823.14

December 9, 2007: We received notification that they received the Agent of Choice letter but they could not continue until we submit the immigrant visa application fee of $380.

April 25, 2008: We received notification that effective January 1, 2008, the immigrant visa fees increased from $380 to $400. Lucky us.

June 23, 2008: I submitted the I864 and the I864A forms. I guesstimate that it took me a full two weeks of filling out applications, making phone calls, making copies, sorting through three years of financial data and organizing documents. Transaction cost: $12.45 Total spent: $835.59

July 3, 2008: We received notification that they reviewed the documents submitted in support of an application for an immigrant visa but could not continue the case without the visa fee. We had two choices. We could send the payment, but Esteban would have to forgo his trip to Honduras. Or we could send Esteban to Honduras and wait to send the payment next year. At the time:
*Esteban had already skipped his trip to Honduras in 2007
*Esteban’s daughter bore a child out of wedlock and he was now a grandfather
*The children’s mother had decided to leave the country and the boys were practically on their own with their maternal grandmother
*Esteban’s mother’s health was declining
We decided that it was much more important for him to visit Honduras. The fee would have to wait.

April 15, 2009: We sent in the visa fee. Transaction cost: $1207.99 Total spent: $2043.58

April 19, 2009: Esteban’s mother passes.

June 3, 2009: Things are getting worse in Honduras. Ricardito is in trouble and I am more desperate than ever to get him out of there and bring him home with us. I call immigration and they confirm they received the visa fee. The next step is the visa application packet. She tells me she will request for a packet to be emailed to me. I ask if there is any way to expedite the case. She said they will only expedite in the case of military or life and death. I explain our situation with the kids. She tells me to send in a request via email and submit a copy of the death certificate.

June 4, 2009: We send in our request to expedite the case, in Jesus name!

June 5, 2009: We receive the visa application packet. The application doesn’t seem too bad. They are requesting a ton of original documents though. Many original documents, some of which we do not have. Luckily Esteban’s uncle was visiting in Honduras and he will bring us the children’s passports and updated passport photos. Because the kids are currently split up, he will only bring the boy’s updated passport photos though. Shanel’s photos and passport will have to wait until Esteban visits in July.

Family Day at the Beach

I've been watching the weather like a hawk. There was nothing but rain for such a long time. It was starting to get depressing. After spending the weekend at my sister's, there was a break and we made a dash for it. Da Beach! Here we come. It worked out to be perfect timing because it was Monday and my sister's place was closed for the day. They joined us.

We had the most awesome beach day. The weather was perfect. The water was great. It's wasn't too hot or humid. We had lunch at the beach. The kids could care less about eating though. They were thrilled with their sand toys. They played in the sand next to our "camp" as I called it for what seemed like ages. Naps were out of the question, of course. Then they moved on to the wet sand near the shore. We sat there for a long while. They carried pails of sand and pails of water. They had a small shell collection, but they couldn't follow it through. They collected a handful of shells, dumped them out and started all over again. After the last dip, we started to clean up and while we loaded up the car, the kids played at the playground.

Now, it was 7pm. How did that happen? I thought to myself, a little more and we would have been there for the sunset. Except it was time to eat and we had exhausted our snacks supply. So off to dinner we went. Luckily, we ended up at Beef O Bradys and the kids ate for free. Woo-hoo! We were still close to 2 hours from home though so we didn't get home until 11pm. Can you imagine? Still, it was the best day and I wouldn't have traded any part of it.

Would Have Been...

Today would have been my 17th year anniversary with my job. Instead, it was the first day of my new life. You would think that I would be over it by now, but it still hurts. Even though, I am settling into my new role as a homemaker and enjoying my time with Jayden and Maya, I can't help but think of what would have been.

I first came to Florida because of this job. When I first applied, I was shot down and when I applied the second time, it was not my idea. It was because my friend dragged me to the information session. And when I got the job and he didn't, I was stunned. I thought about the gigantic change it mean for me and considered declining the offer. But I took that fateful trip from NJ to FL and it turned out to be a wonderful experience for me. I can't imagine what my life would have been like or how I would have turned out had I stayed. I only know how grateful I am that I did come because it helped shape me and make me who I am today.

Still, seventeen years is a long time. I was so hoping to make my 2oth anniversary and earn my ring. So very disappointing.

Have I ever been committed to anything for so long? Let's see. It took me 14 years to graduate from college. I've owned my home for 13 years. I've been married for 8 years. I've had my car for 7 years and my dog for 5 years. And I've been lucky enough to be blessed with Jayden for 4 years and Maya for 2.

Yes, seventeen years is a long time. But that chapter of my life is over. And now, God willing, it's time to see what the next seventeen years bring.

Jayden's 4th Birthday

Jayden turned 4 years old today. He's been practicing showing me his 4 little fingers for a long time so today, he was a pro. Even though, he pretty much dresses by himself, I wanted to help him today. As I was helping with his shirt, he told me, "Mommy, I am a man like Daddy now." I couldn't help but crack up. He's so smart. He knows his alphabet and can recognize all letters and even knows his sounds. He knows his numbers, colors, and shapes in English and Spanish. He's still a little wobbly with line tracing, but does pretty well with diagonal and vertical lines. Horizontal lines are a little wobbly. He loves to paint, play with play-doh, race his cars. He adores his tools, but he also loves to use Maya's shopping cart and stroller. He'll put all of his toys into the stroller and race it around the house, crashing into everything in sight. He wants to help with everything. He wants to help me in the kitchen and Esteban in the garage. He wants to help Maya even though she doesn't want his help. He's a little pushy that way. Even though he's getting bigger now, he's still not too big for my hugs and kisses. I love that!

It's been raining all week so I needed to come up with an indoor activity for us. We had pretty limited time since Esteban was coming off a graveyard shift and going back in at 6pm. We had just been to the bouncehouse place over the weekend for the party and since I didn't relish the thought of Chuck E. Cheese's, I opted for pottery painting. That was our first time. It was cool because they had ceramics, but they also had an option for acrylic painting, which you could take home the same day.

Here's Jayden's new smile face.
So serious...

Too bad Maya is so crazy with the paint still. You could tell she really likes it, but she was a mess and Jayden wasn't the only one sporting a new outfit. I really just wanted to strip her naked, but I didn't want people to see how obsessive I am. LOL

Even Esteban helped Maya when she tired of her first piece.

Maya pinches Daddy's nose.

Finished product. I was pretty happy. I helped Jayden of course, but he did most of it himself. I did the details like the eyes and the 4!

Afterwards, he insisted on Chick-fil-a for lunch. I was happy with that. They ate lunch and then played in the playground for what seemed like ages. Jayden played with all his "friends". It was so funny to watch him and Maya. Afterwards, we home home. It was super dark out as you can see. Rain fell a minute after I captured this shot!

I've never seen someone get so happy for a cake. I think that's why I always go out of my way to make one instead of buy one. Plus, I must admit. I love to test new recipes. The purple icing was left over from the Wubzzy cake and since green is his favorite color, I piped in green. Except, I am no good at piping so when he asked me for a teddy bear, I messed it up. This is what I came up with to cover it up. LOL

Flexin' the birthday muscles...

This time he would not be fooled with magic candles. Everytime, we lit it, he blew it out. This was the best picture I could snap.

When I tucked the kids in, they were singing Happy Birthday to each other. And Jayden said he was a big boy now. He then proceeded to tell me that he could drive like daddy. I almost fell over laughing. Out of curiosity, I asked him where he would go and he said to Publix to get milk. LOL

Mother's Day Weekend with my Nephews

Beauty and the Beast (haha)
As soon as the cousin's came over, it was puzzle time.

I just got Jayden a new 12 piece puzzle. It did not take long for him to master it. I was impressed.

Mother's Day Morning - The kids watch "Toy Story".

I was very surprised with the roses waiting for me, when I woke up. Beautiful. My first time receiving so many from E. Impressive!

It just so happened that the kids were casually arranged in a row. It reminded me of a Mother's Day parade!

After naps, we went out to the swings. Sebi is such a cutie pie!

I still can't believe I managed to get this wonderful picture of the boys. I've been "trying" for ages. Finally, they cooperated!

Too hot for the swings... Lets cool off. Well, everyone except for Sebi. He wasn't feeling the sprinklers.

Wee!

Jayden and Chooch enjoyed themselves the most!

This really is a fun water toy!