Jayden's Progess at School

Well, believe it or not, Jayden just finished his second week at school. It seems to have flown by. He seems to be all settled into his school now. Let’s take a look at this week.

Monday: Tears in the morning and tears at drop off.

Tuesday: Tears in the morning and sad face at drop off. You know the look. Sad eyes, upside down smile, quivering chin… Yeah, that one.

Wednesday: No tears, just vocalized his desire to NOT go to school and got over it. No sad face at drop off! Thank you God! Today is the first day, Maya shows complete excitement over Jayden coming home from school

Thursday: Apparently, Jayden has a fan club and a little girlfriend. Taryn is her name and she jumped up and down with joy at seeing Jayden. They held hands all the way to class. It was too cute. Jayden wanted to hold my hand too, but I told him to go on ahead. You can’t hold your mom’s hand and your girlfriend’s hand at the same time! It was my volunteer day at the school so I stayed to read books during drop off. Just as the kids were getting ready to have breakfast, I left. Jayden was sad but he hung in there after I told him it was ok not to eat his yucky oatmeal.

Friday: Esteban dropped him off today with no problems. I picked him up and this time it was Taryn that came running over to me crying. Apparently, Jayden said he didn’t want to be friends anymore. 1st broken heart. Awww! He got his first homework assignment for the weekend. I’m looking forward to it!

Sometimes, I wonder what’s going on at school. Some days he says the teacher doesn’t like him and other times he tells me he told the teacher he loves her. Sometimes, he says the teacher is mad at him and other times, he wants to know what Ms. Helena is doing. One night he was rolling around on the floor and when I asked why he was doing that, he said the teacher told him to. Last night, he was hopping around the room, like a frog. The teacher said was his response to my questioning eyes. Today, we went to the store and I was eyeballing the meat when all of a sudden Jayden points to a sign and exclaims at the top of him lungs $10! I had to laugh. I was kinda thinking the same thing. I’m glad he’s learning!

If you have a Praying Bone in your Body, We Need You...

I've been wondering why it is taking so long for our package to arrive to the embassy in Honduras. We were given the address for an APO (army post office) so I did a web search for information on APO addresses and how often they receive mail. At first, I didn't find much, but as I started to change my keywords I came across this article.

U.S. moves toward formal cutoff of aid to Honduras (to read the article in full)

... the United States is taking steps — including its decision on Tuesday to cease issuing some visas at its embassy in Tegucigalpa — to raise pressure on the de facto government...

The official said this was a response to the de facto government’s rejection of proposals put forward by Costa Rican President Oscar Arias, whose mediation effort has stalled over the government’s refusal to allow Zelaya to return to power.

The San Jose accord proposed last month by the Nobel Peace Prize winner would have allowed Zelaya to return to office until elections are held by the end of November.

The State Department said on Tuesday it would only provide visa services to potential immigrants and emergency cases at its embassy in Tegucigalpa.

A U.S. official who spoke on condition of anonymity told reporters the visa decision was “a signal of how seriously we are watching the situation” and said Washington was considering other steps, though it was premature to disclose these.

Jayden, Jayden, Jayden… What About Maya?

With all the back to school drama, I’ve neglected to share how the transition has affected my baby girl. Well, I hate to say it, but Maya seems as happy as can be. While Jayden is at school crying his eyes out and missing Maya, she’s as if nothing ever happened. And it’s not hard to see why. She’s got all her toys to herself and she’s got the full attention of Mommy and Daddy. She doesn’t seem to look around for Jayden or ask for him, but she does wear his shoes. Yes, that’s right. She wears his shoes everyday while he’s in school. She must fall down a million times a day, but she doesn’t care. She wants to wear his sandals and flip-flops.

At night, I get Jayden’s outfit ready for the next day and she wants me to get her outfit too. Sometimes, she wakes up early and she sees Jayden getting ready. She follows me around. Brush teeth too. Dressed too. Outfit too. Mommyyyyyy… I go too. She’s so funny. Today, I had to brush her teeth, get her milk, and get her dressed all so she can stay home. “Go too” she said. I would bring her with me, but I’m holding off since Jayden is still having meltdowns at drop-off.

After the drop-off, I come home and Maya comes running. “Mommy, you back!” We have breakfast. We do some sort of activity together. Before you know it, it’s lunchtime. And lunch is so easy because my fussy eater is at school. Maya will eat practically anything. Before, I always tried to keep Maya up so that she and Jayden could nap together, but not anymore. She falls asleep so easy. It’s great. Today, she fell asleep on the sofa. All I had to do was move her. Soon after, it’s time to pick up Jayden. When we get back, Maya is up and the party gets started. And since the house has been quiet all day, it’s so much easier for me to be patient with their squabbling in the evenings. I love it.

Since Jayden attends the Head Start program, Maya will be able to enroll next year at age 3 because they give priority to siblings. Before I know it, Maya and Jayden will both be going to school. Is this really happening so fast? I feel like I just had Maya the other day…

New Schedule, New Life

For the past 5 months, I have been doing the exact same thing, day in, day out. I was trying to make the best of my new circumstances, but I was in such a rut. I felt sad and bored, but I couldn’t bring myself to say that out loud to anyone else. And when I thought about my husband’s kids joining us, I was terrified of losing my life as I knew it. It was ironic that the life I was so scared of losing, was the same life I was so sick and tired of. I’m sure I was depressed to a certain extent.

It’s amazing what the new schedule has done for me. Since school started, I am out and about much earlier. I have more alone time as well as more quality time with Maya. I feel like my days are longer. More productive. Gotta love that! And I spend a lot less time fussing at the kids. What a relief not to have to hear myself say the same things over and over again. The added peace has done wonders for me. I didn’t even know how tired and bored I was until my life changed.

So what did I do my first week? I spent a lot of time worried about Jayden at school. I wandered around the house in quiet disbelief. I felt like a part of me was missing. I guess back to school was an adjustment for Jayden and I both. On the flip side, I also did my housework in complete peace. Simple tasks didn’t take double the time to do anymore. Esteban got a ton done around the house and in the garage. I did my first hour of volunteer work at the school. I even got out to the stores to do some couponing and clearance shopping. And I got a much needed haircut!

And next week, who knows… I might even schedule lunch with a friend!

Garage Conversion

The garage conversion project seems to have come to a standstill. Our 1st guy ended up giving us the best price, but we didn’t know that at the time and wanted to shop around before making a decision. The 2nd guy was kinda slow at the beginning, but really followed through on getting his people out to give their estimates. The price was on the higher side of the scale but we were still considering the estimate until his electrician came out and said that we would have to replace our entire electrical panel. The 3rd guy is still under consideration. He was just as pricey as the 2nd guy, but agreed to lower the price if we do the floors and paint the walls.

During this time, I began to wonder if it might not be cheaper to stay away from general contractors and try to break up the job ourselves. So I proceeded to gather estimates from a couple of framing guys and a couple of A/C guys. Both framing estimates came back higher than each of our first three estimates. And the 1st A/C estimate never even came back. The guy left us hanging. The 2nd A/C estimate came back higher than general contractor #2. At that point, we felt certain that the 1st guy was the best option, but when we called him back, he did not return the call. I was crushed because I was hoping to start construction asap, so I took a few days to mull it over and come to terms with it.

Meanwhile, Esteban has let the neighbors convince him that together, they can do it. Now, that wouldn’t be a bad plan if at least one of them really knew what he was doing and could guide the project along, but they figure, how hard can it be? Worse comes to worse, they can get a printout from the computer. (What?) They send him over to check out what one of our neighbors has done in their garage. And I must say, yes, they probably saved a ton of money, but the project has taken two years AND is still far from complete. Plus, no one in the group knows how to finish and texture drywall so the new room is very rustic looking. (Hmmm.) Not to mention the fact that matching up their schedules when one works nights and weekends and the rest work days, is like waiting for the planets to align. I can’t even fathom this being an option, in my head.

I should also mention that by this point, the floor plan has changed at least three times. First we did away with the closet, thinking we could save some money that way. Then we decided to make the room a little bigger. Then we went back and forth on how to keep the room cool and everytime we changed the plan, we had to change which walls would get insulated. Now, Esteban has decided that the garage door MUST be functional. (Grrr.) I feel tired just thinking about it.

Nothing seems to be falling into place at this point and while I was doing the dishes I thought to myself, “Hey God. What’s up with that?” And that’s when it dawned on me. Maybe it’s not our time. Maybe the right person hasn’t come along yet. Maybe there’s a better option, another alternative, another plan, God’s plan… I really don’t know, but Esteban and I both agree that we should take our time and not make hasty decisions. No sense in rushing the project. When it’s right, we will know it and feel it.

So today, we decided to go and introduce ourselves to a neighbor who has recently moved into the neighborhood and is completely gutting his new house. During our chat, he offers to take us on a tour. It’s amazing what he’s done. Updated lighting, new fixtures and sinks, a complete bathroom renovation, additional cabinets in the kitchen, built-in's, AND a converted garage. It's so cool. The garage will now have a laundry room, a bedroom with a half bath and a space for the lady of the house to do hair. Wow! And the electrical panel was not a problem at all. I felt renewed hope in our project. We asked him to come by and take a look at the space and we’ll see what he has to say.

2nd & 3rd Day

Evening prior to Day 2: Jayden is not wanting to go to bed, even though he woke up at 7am, had a long day at school, cut the grass with daddy, and played with the neighbor's kids until 7pm. He should have been wiped out. This was clue #1. He didn't fall asleep until just after 10pm.

Day 2: This morning, Jayden didn't want to get up, or get dressed or go to school. He starts to wince on the way to school and says he doesn't want to go to school. He misses mommy and Maya too much. He wants to stay home with us. Why did I leave? etc. etc. I try to encourage him and reinforce that all little boys go to school and that I will be back later inn the day to pick him up. When I attempt to leave, he begins to cry at full speed and throws himself on me. And the teacher had to rip him off of me. I left crying. It was awful.

Day 3: Last night, he was whining all night that he didn't want to go to la escuela anymore. When I said he had to go, he asked if Maya and I could go with him. So sad. I hope for the best as he falls asleep earlier, but in the morning, he begins the day crying hysterically. He cried all morning, all the way to school, and as I left, he was waving goodbye and crying, "Byeeeeeeeeeeeee!". I had to stop in the hall and dry my eyes, remembering how he was begging me to go back home with Maya and Daddy. I wait for a few minutes. I hear the teacher encourage him and his crying slows. I look in and he's getting ready to wash hands for breakfast, but he's red faced and still a little shaken. So sad for him.

Day 1 was denial. Day 2 & 3 were a mix of sadness and bargaining. Maybe by Friday, Day 5, we will be at acceptance....

First Day of School

Jayden's first day of school was what I call a psych-out. He went willingly. He was happy. He played with the toys. He seemed content. I left. And when I picked him up, his eyes were still red and swollen. I found out he broke down after breakfast when he realized that I left. Ugh.

Here's my baby in the car. This is the only picture he took willingly. For the rest, I was on my own.
We were waiting outside for the doors to open. You can tell that he's not completely sold on this school thing.

He cracks me up. Look at that face.

In the classroom, he sits and grabs a toy. He seems fine as he peeks over to me. I have already said good-bye at this point and I was by the door, trying to get a good picture.

Here he is getting something new to play with, but you can see the look on his face. I'm hesitant to leave at this point.

Here's my last peek at him before I leave. He's kinda just there. I heard the teacher tell the kids to gather up to wash hands for breakfast. I figure he's fine. It's probably harder for me to leave since we haven't been apart in two years. Little did I know how wrong I was...